conversations with a belz girl

So Frumpunk wanted to know more about my convo with the Belz girl which I mentioned in my previous post.

Here are a few insights:

The whole no-driving thing for women - according to my source (who is 17 years old) that rule isn't so much a halacha or like a rebbe's 'commandment' per se,  so much as it a minhag.... Apparently they're big on keeping on the same traditions as their parents - That means that if your mother never drove, you won't either. I told her how I couldn't imagine life without my car - how much independence and freedom it gives me.
But she said that the idea of learning to drive would never even enter her mind - and besides, everything she'll ever need is only a walk, taxi or ride (from a father) away.
I realized there are some pros to a no-car lifestyle - she'll never have road rage or the aggravation of looking for a parking spot.

Belz women do not wear Shpitzels - that's a Satmar trend. 
(fyi -if you're wondering what that is, here's Wiki's definition: A Shpitzel is a headgear worn by many married Hassidic Women. It consists of a web-net covering the women's head, often with a "braid of hair" across the front. It is covered by a tichel.)
Instead, Belz girls wear whatever it is their mothers wear - which is usually one of the following four options: human hair sheitel, half-human hair sheitel, sheitel+hat, sheitel+headband.

Belz girls marry Belz boys
Yes, I even discussed dating with this girl.(we're that close).
So I asked her if she would consider marrying some other type of Chassid. The answer was that her parents would very much prefer that she marry another Belzer. So there you have it.

Belz girls talk to Belz boys (in secret)
This one was kind of a shocker. Granted, the people having these illicit conversations (sometimes over the telephone, and at night!) are often related (usually cousins). She seemed pretty excited to tell me this - maybe because she hasn't told anyone else and maybe because my non-Chassidish status means there's no chance I could ruin any future shidduch opportunities for her.

Dating
So, obviously, dating as the rest of the world knows it (well maybe not including Asia or most of the Middle East) is very different from what this girl will experience.
Instead, her parents will do a bunch of research, find the perfect Belzer bochur, bring him home for a sit-in or two with their daughter - and TA DA - the wedding plans begin!
I asked her what if the guy they brought home was butt ugly or had horrible breath (she had let me know just before that handsomeness was one of the qualities she would look for in a Potential - also slightly unexpected).
But apparently, the research stage usually covers qualities such as looks, so she wasn't too worried about meeting any Quasimodos.

 ***
Ok - there you have it! My conversation with a Belz Girl summed up for your curious minds. If you have any questions, don't e-mail me. Instead, feel free to visit 13th Avenue in Boro Park and find your own Chassidish bestie. Or just ask a flight attendant to move your seat next to the hottie with the tan tights.

Mechitzahs & Talleisim - an MO love story

One of the best reasons to go to an MO shul is for the view. You just don't get the same buzz going to a tiny shtiebel where the women's section is somewhere behind floor-to-ceiling bookcases, a concrete wall or thick curtains that never move.
I've been to a few shtiebels where the women sit upstairs in a converted two-family house with only a small hole in the floor and if you strain your ears enough you can almost make out every third word of Kriyas HaTorah. The truth is, you often do get your best davening done in those shtiebelach (unless some nosy shadchan decides to sit next to you and takes the opportunity to try to find out what your father does for a living).
But there are times when you feel like getting all dolled up for shul, and an audience of middle-aged yentas just isn't doing it for you.
When you know you're looking your best, it's way more fun to go an MO shul with a Soloveichik-style mechitzah - it's like the kosher version of a nightclub - you get to see and be seen.
You know what I'm talking about - the number one reason people go to shul is for social reasons (I will admit that might hold more true for women, as we don't have the same obligation to daven with a minyan - so maybe it's number two for men... why else would kiddush clubs exist?).
Sometimes I do get tired of the show - I've actually written about that before. (surely you've read every post I've ever written? All 500-and-counting, right? If not, here it is.) So I don't let myself indulge too often - but when I do, I try to make it worthwhile.
Great views are not only exclusive to MO shuls. One of the best seats a girl will ever get is at the Karliner Shul in Meah Shearim (who woulda thunk!). There the women sit upstairs behind a one-way mirror so that they can watch the men scream out the Shema (they literally yell at the top of their lungs) without risk of being seen. (although, that view is more amusing than gratifying)

The most gratifying Shabboses happen when there's a new cute non-tallis-wearing Potential in town. I really feel for my Sephardi and Yekki friends with this one. Catching the eye of a hot guy only to discover he's only in shul for his daughter's baby naming can be quite a letdown. Why else was the tallis mandated by G-d if not to shield vulnerable young women from similar awkward situations?
Unfortunately nothing can prepare a girl who's still waiting for her beshert for the heartbreak that happens when she makes eye-contact with a total Potential (as she designs her wedding dress in her head during Shacharis) only to discover that - SHOCKER - it's his Aufruf.
Where is this post going? (Sometimes I forget because on here I tend to I write the way I think - which is one huge rambling mess.)
So ya - anyhow - my point is that sometimes a low mechitzah in an MO shul can be the answer to a single girl's prayers (maybe she remembered to say Shir HaShirim for 40 days straight).

keeping your woman satisfied

WARNING - this post is for mature readers only. If you're gonna be immature, at least giggle as you read - no hate mail please.

Here's the answer to something I bet all of you boys were wondering about.
Yes, frum girls talk about s$x.

For most frum single girls, the discussions usually involve a lot of speculation mixed in with obgyn horror stories. If a frum single girl's lucky, she gets a little more info from a less frum friend (and maybe even gets to live vicariously through her).

If she's really lucky, she's got a friend who's already crossed over to the married side who's willing to TALK.
Not all married friends are happy to dish about their s$x lives. Some married friends become too private to even ask you for a pad when they need one. Other married friends are willing to give you the scoop about only one little event- the wedding night (usually another horror story).

I happened to have get into a convo with a married friend who didn't mind talking, but her approach was more 'Little Midrash Says' than 'Sex and the City'. I don't think any of us minded - we were more surprised that she was willing to talk about it at all.

Anyhow - somehow it came out that her kallah teacher told her that it wasn't tznius for a woman to initiate - and that a woman cannot refuse her husband. 

WTF.

Two facts that I've never heard in my entire life. Moreover, both ideas go totally against everything I've ever learned about Judaism and taharas hamishpacha. Isn't there some kind of clause in the Ketuba that says that it's a husband's obligation to please his wife (and no similar obligation for the woman)?

Maybe I should've posted on CalmKallahs.....

wearing the same dress twice

So I was getting ready for a wedding the other night, debating which of my ten little black dresses to wear to the event. I really wanted to wear my latest purchase - a cute designer find that I found at Macy's for almost 50% off. (I heart Macy's sales!)

But then I realized that there was no way I could wear it - everyone had already seen me in it! The dress had just been worn to a family wedding only one week prior - and while the crowd at this wedding would be very different, I was 100% sure that everyone I cared about seeing the dress had already seen it - on facebook.

Facebook pictures present an interesting dilemma to the girl who hates being seen in the same outfit twice. True, I sometimes stick to the same two jean skirts for an entire school semester, but that's because there's hardly a risk of being photographed studying for exams on campus. And plus, do I really care what some of my classmates think?

But when it comes to a cute party dress that I'd like to show off a little more than once, having your friends and facebook buddies (because let's face it, not everyone on there is really a 'friend') see you work it online before they get to see you work it in the flesh kind of takes away from your enjoyment of the evening. (girls, be honest, you know you care more about the way you look than the way the bride does).

getting old - er

So one of my very dear friends, Zahara, just celebrated her big 3-0. (happpy birthday girl!)

The nice thing about having friends who are older than you, is that you get to stay young-er longer. The nice thing about having an 'older' friend like Zahara is that you realize that 30 isn't as scary as you once thunk. Thirty does not equal wrinkles or gray hair or the end of youth. Zahara is one of the most energetic, fun-loving, gorgeous, hysterical people I know (and did I mention, single? altho... I have a feeling this won't be for too long). If her turning 30 gives me a teeny glimpse into my own not-so-distant future (because let's face it - time flies when you're out of high school), then I'm not worried.


I don't think there is anything more sad or more pathetic than someone who is in their 30s, 40, whatever (well, maybe someone who is in their 20s) and seems to walk around with a 'still single & desperate' sign across their forehead. It's actually one of my pet peeves about living in NYC -EVERYONE is on the meet market and everyone is obsessed with finding their 'perfect' match - and it's all everyone seems to talk about. I've met so many girls in NYC (come to think of it, most my age) whose favorite topics of convo are dating, sheitels and wedding halls (maybe they all need to get their own blogs to get it all out). And the absolute worst thing that could happen to one of these girls is to end up 30 and (G-d forbid) single. Which could explain why girls who are 30+single in the city seem to have such hateful looks on their faces...

Right now, 30+single isn't something I'm planning on, and I'll admit, it does sound a little frightening. But then, so does 30+broke or 30+jobless.

Thank G-d for friends like Z!

worth a watch - pole dancer ruins wedding

some people just shouldn't leave the house...

the official shidduch resume

So I was trying to help my friend Shaindy out with her shidduch resume when we decided to see whether Google had any good templates for us to use.

We found this on Hashkafah.com. Feel free to print this out next time a Shadchan calls.

The Offical Shidduch Resume

(FOR GIRLS)
Name:_______________ Nick name:________________
Age:________________ Screen name:________________
DOB:_______________ Sign:__________________
Place of Birth:
City:________________ State:______________ Country:__________
Hospital:_______________ Doctor:_______________ Midwife:_______________
Height:
With heels on:_______________
Without heels on:________________
Weight:
Before sister's wedding:______________
After sister's sheva brachos:_______________
Color Eyes:
With contact lenses:____________ Without contact lenses:_________
Religious Affiliation:
A. Jewish:
( ) FFB (Frum From Birth)
( ) BT
( ) OT
( ) Out of towner
( ) Regular orthodox
( ) Modern orthodox
B. Education: Please star * anything that was co-ed
a) Playgroup:_____________
B) Preschool:_____________
c) Elementary School:______________
d) High School:_____________
e) If you did not attend a Bais Ya'akov High School, please write a 500 word essay why. (You may attach additional paper to the back of this
resume).
f) Day Camp:_____________
g) Sleep-away Camp:_______________
h) Seminary:_______________
*Why davka this one__________________________________________________.
*Was this your first choice? Were you rejected from any seminaries and if yes, please
specify:_____________________________________________________________.
GETTING PERSONAL:
1) So, who really is the prettiest girl in Bais Ya'akov Monsey?_________________.
2) Are you really a hocker??
Check if you have any of these:
___ # of cellphone(s)
___ # beeper(s)
___ # of blowdrier(s)
___ Type of car(s)
___ VCR/DVD
___ TV
___ computer with email
___ computer with internet
___ computer with Koshernet
3) Did you ever have a crush on a boy in Miami Boy's Choir?
No____ Yes_____ (If yes, please specify # and which ones) ____________________________________
THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS MAY SEEM A BIT UNUSUAL, HOWEVER, PROFESSIONAL SHADCHANIM KNOW WHAT REALLY DETERMINES A GIRL'S CHARACTER.
4) What midda really defines your character? _____________________.
5) What do you do to relax?
A. Eat
B. Get you nails/hair done
C. Go shopping
D. Talk on the phone
E. Say Tehillim
F. Design your wedding gown
6) How much food do you need to be satisfied?
A. One slice of pizza, french fries or onion rings and a diet coke
B. Half a burger or hotdog
C. Salad, salad, and more salad
D. 3 Chalav Yisrael Hershey Kisses
E. Satisified? Never, I'm on a diet!
7) What are your eyebrows like?
A. I wax once a month
B. So thick I have to tweeze every-other night
C. Very sparse, I need to color them in
D. Non-existent is in, didn't you see the latest cover of Seventeen?
8) During the Oscar's, you are:
A. Doing chesed to counter-act the tumah
B. Watching for tips
C. Watching ER
D. The Oscar's, what's that?
9) Are your suits:
A. Long jacket, long skirt
B. Long jacket, short skirt
C. Short jacket, long skirt
D. Short jacket, short skirt (and how short?)
E. Suits, me? I go casual; denim skirt, Gap sweatshirt
10) How often do you buy a new Shabbos robe?
A. Once a year
B. Every time I see one I like
C. Whenever they go on sale
D. Twice in a life time (Bas-Mitzva and wedding IY"H)
11) How many outfits do you go through on Shabbos?
A. 1-3
B. 3-5
C. I don't get dressed
12) How much time do you spend doing your hair before a date?
A. I don't, a ponytail is good enough for me
B. 10 minutes
C. 20-40 minutes
D. 60+ minutes
13) What do you use to do your hair?
A. Brush only
B. Blowdrier
C. Straightner/Curler
D. Gel/Mouse
E. All of the above
14) What brand of make-up do you use?
A. My mother doesn't let me wear make-up
B. Whatever is on sale at Target
C. Mary Kay
D. Clinique/Lancome/Estee Lauder/MAC
15) What would you buy with a $100 gift certificate to Macy's?
A. New make-up
B. Third pair of Shabbos shoes
C. Lingerie
D. Macy's chas veshalom! I only shop at Brenda's!
E. The skirt I saw Miriam wear last week
FAMILY MATTERS:
16) What kind of table cloth does you family use?
A. Disposable
B. Pink with lace
C. Classic white
17) What does your family serve for Oneg Shabbos?
A. What Oneg Shabbos? We're all on diets!
B. Only Pashkes and Liebers
C. For those over 16- diet coke, 15 and under- fruit punch
D. Dried fruit
E. Nosh is only for those who clear the table
18) What's your retail value on the market? $$$__________
19) What time do you daven Shacharis Sunday morning?
A. Neitz, I'm usually up anyways
B. I set my alarm for an hour before zman kriyas shema
C. My mother wakes me 5 minutes before chatzot
D. Shacharis Sunday morning?!
20) What is your monthly phone bill usually like? ______________
21) What's your favorite page in a yearbook?
A. Baby pictures, they're just sooo cute!
B. Divrei Torah
C. Class pictures
D. Jokes and memories
E. Family pictures of girls with older brothers
22) When you see those chocolates on the coffee table, do you:
A. Begin drooling, but remember your bathing suit is only a size 4
B. Count calories
C. If it’s PMS time, I'll grab the whole box
D. I will not succumb to this great taiva
23) What do you do if your date opens the car door for you?
A. Look down, I'm makpid on shmiras einayim (no eye contact)
B. Run back into my house and call the shadchan
C. I say thank you, and get in
D. Blush and get in silently
24) What's your favorite dating spot?
A. Lounge
B. Lounge
C. Lounge
D. Other??? Couldn't come up with any!
25) If your older brother has a friend over for lunch, you:
A. Look down the whole meal
B. Blush when he asks you to pass the cholent
C. Talk about politics
D. Have an animated conversation until your father asks you to clear the table
E. Eat at your friend's
26) What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you on a date?
A. My mascara shmeared
B. My hair frizzed in the rain
C. He forgot my name
D. Too many quiet moments
E. When I sat down, my skirt went above my knees
F. Met too many of our ex-dates in the lounge
27) Why do you feel you are ready for marriage?
A. My parents are forcing me
B. I want a baby
C. I just came back from sem, a true kalah maidel
D. I can whip up a whole Shabbos in 3 hours
E. All my friends are
28) What does it take for a boy to get on your list:
A. One phone call, I'm 20, an alta kakah
B. 4 phone calls from prominent rabbanim
C. Money makes things move pretty quickly
D. He has to be my mother's cousin's sister's mother-in-law's best friend's son
E. If he attends the Mir
F. A blue eyed stud who knows how to dress
29) What do you feel is your supreme sacrifice for Torah?
A. Living on a kollel salary
B. Letting your husband learn half a day
C. Eating out only once a week
D. Driving a Camry (not a Mercedes or Rolls)
E. Doing my nails myself
30) Why do you think you should be chosen above everyone else?
A. I throw really cool parties
B. I wear a size 4
C. I have great yichus
D. I can talk on the phone while mopping the floor and holding the screaming baby
E. I have a great personality, real modest
F. My grandparents left me a huge trust fund
31) What kind of engagement ring are you looking for:
A. A plain band
B. A nice 1 carat diamond
C. A big diamond surrounded by emeralds
D. I'll take what I can get
E. Anything from Tiffany's or Cartier
I, _____________________ promise that everything I have answered above is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Please help me Hashem.
SIGNATURE: ____________________

betty draper syndrome

You've got to watch Mad Men to get what I'm about to write.

Don't worry, the show is pretty clean. Well, in comparison to anything on HBO anyway. If you don't have cable here's a brief synopsis of one of the show's most interesting characters.

Betty Draper is the model-turned-suburban homemaker, wife to Don Draper, the 1960's creative director at a NY advertising agency. He cheats, she knows; she cheats, he doesn't. They endure a brief separation but eventually get back together when she discovers she's pregnant with their third child. She sulks, she smokes (even while pregnant), she yells at her kids, she complains to her shrink (who then reports to her husband). She recently told her shrink that her mother "wanted me to be beautiful so I could find a man. There’s nothing wrong with that. But then what? Just sit and smoke and let it go ‘til you’re in a box?". It's like Valley of the Dolls only she hasn't yet discovered those little blue pills.

I was having sushi with some friends the other night when I met a group of my parents' acquaintances. The wives are classic Betty Drapers. They're not young anymore, but they're still trying hard to look it (I've actually seen some of them out wearing their bandages). They don't have jobs (which is fine by me, my mother shops for a living too and honestly, I wouldn't mind doing the same), but they don't really do much of anything else either. They all have gorgeous husbands (it's true, men do get better with age) with great salaries, but who spend more time eying their teenage babysitters than honoring their wedding vows. Maybe that's why their wives need to spend so much of their own time getting those brow wrinkles filled in with Restalyne.

things that frum weddings can do without

This one's inspired by Bad4Shidduchim's recent post about how she hates the whole maypole umbrella 'tradition' that is now a part of every frum wedding. (personally, I don't really mind it...it makes for great pics! and it's practically how you know the wedding you're at is Jewish - no matter what the original origin of the thing)

Here are some things I don't think Frum weddings realllly need (if only because these things sometimes puzzle me or just plain get on my nerves):

1) Simcha Dancing - or, as I like to call it, Square Dancing. Because no one is ever really any good at it and no one ever looks good doing it, except for the one or two girls who decide to go off in a corner of the dance floor and pull moves you know they practice at home. Rarely is the Kallah actually involved in the routine - and all it does is confuse everybody else and put a halt to the REAL dancing  - you know, where everyone squeezes together in disjointed circles around the perspiring bride.

2) Lifting of the Bride by women in stilettos - I think if there is any moment in a girl's life where she should give in to non-Shomer desires, this is it. If what was supposed to happen in the Yichud room went according to plan, then surely the bride won't mind letting a few more sweaty guys get a little close. Let the men lift her people! It's a matter of life and death. No seriously, we've all heard that one story about the bride who spent her wedding night in the hospital because of a bad chair-lift. And why is there always that one girl in size-double-zero dress wearing six-inch heels part of the lift crew? I see a chairlift and I step away - there's no reason to get into a situation where you're potentially liable for a lawsuit.

3) And speaking of which..... putting the bride on a table is NOT safe either. I say this from personal experience, where I thought that we had killed the bride, as a table leg broke and she came crashing to the ground. Not a happy memory.

4) The three-dance rule. I hate rules. And if the bride is someone I really like, and if I'm having a great time, I don't see why the band has to stop playing after just three rounds of circle-time. One time, I got yelled at by a DJ when I asked him to play just one more song. (he must've been off his meds - wish I remembered his name so I could tell you who not to use)

5) People talking during the Chuppah. This is almost worse than talking during Shul. So disrespectful. Ok, I'll admit - I am sometimes guilty of this too. (this is often the best time to get all the gossip about the groom's illegitimate brother and his uncle's recent jail-time). But when the noise level of the crowd is so bad that you can barely hear the Chussan step on the glass, there is a problem.

6) Bad Sushi - there's no secret that sushi is the way to my heart. But sushi at weddings is rarely any good, or even passable. And how exactly are people supposed to use the soy sauce? Even when my craving overrules my palate, I hate eating Sushi at shmorgs (well really, I hate eating at shmorgs) because there really is no polite way to eat a piece besides stuffing the entire thing in my mouth. Definitely not polite to have a mouthful of rice when I'm busy saying hello to each of my hundred second cousins. Still, I applaud the efforts of families who actually do bother to spend some dough on a decent shmorg. (if you're really bored right now, go look up the word 'shmorg' at http://www.urbandictionary.com/)

7) Bright Lights - I know old people hate the dimmer switch, but I personally think it adds ambiance. I hate when weddings are brightly lit - in a room where everyone's wearing entire jars of MAC, you'd think halls would be glad to save some money off their electric bills. Apparently some places (eden palace) actually don't let you lower the lights for the Chuppah. Ladies, I think this calls for a protest.

8) Bridal gowns with non-detachable trains. Someone needs to speak to Kleinfelds. There is no reason why a girl's gown needs to give her such a headache when she's trying to dance. Every bride spends at least 20 minutes surrounded by a team of 20 people trying to figure out what to do with all those ties and buttons that supposedly bustles up the dress. I have yet to see this actually work. What usually happens - that big long train gets tied into one big knot.

9)  Weddings that end too early - I still haven't gotten used to that part of living in NY. Where I'm from, dessert tables are brought out at midnight and if I'm home before one it means I wasn't having a good time.

10) The bar on the wrong side of the Mechitza. Unless a girl is brave enough to cross over, need I say more?

Mazel Tov!!!

My fave fan, The Babysitter, is engaged!!!

Congrats M&S!!!

Am I invited to the wedding???

wearing white to weddings

Over the past little while there's been a trend for bridesmaids and family members to wear white, beige, creme and eggshell to weddings.

I'll admit it can look really elegant in pics.

But when you have to ask which lovely lady is the bride - then there's a problem.

I remember going to a wedding where most of the sisters wore blue. Except for one - the one who was engaged - who wore an off-white poofy concoction.

At another wedding - where the sisters of the groom weren't too fond of the bride - those mean girls actually went to David's Bridal and bought cheap wedding gowns almost nicer than that of their brother's beloved.

I have a wedding next week of someone I used to be really close with - but now we're more like frenemies. Should I wear that cute BCBG number I've been eying - in white.... or stick to classic, basic, boring black?

divorce of course

Someone recently told me that that people in the Tri-State are starting to make their Bar Mitzvahs fancier than their weddings... because you know, a Bar Mitzvah only happens once per lifetime.

What's up with that?

Divorce is not new. It's certainly not new to Jews. It's actually talked about in the Torah. (see Dvarim, perek 24)

But for some reason, it was always suggested that Jewish marriages were better than that. Marriage was forever. It was with someone who was compatible on many different levels. It was serious, as serious as Yom Kippur. Marriage was about being complete with another person, about creating a family, about living and passing on Jewish values.

They used to say, maybe they still say, that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Slowly it seems that Jewish marriages are starting to catch up to the national average.

Ok, I'm exaggerating. It's my blog. But still.

I have a good friend from Brooklyn who is 23 years old. She went to a good all-girls school. A little more modern than Bais Yacov, but almost there. Out of 25 girls in her class, 20 have been married. 4 are divorced. I suck at math, but I think that's like 5%. I'm just amazed that these girls are only 23 and have already been married and divorced. (I'm actually more amazed at those girls who at similar ages have been married, divorced and remarried. I can't even do it once)

So what's the story? Why are more people getting divorced these days?

Is it because divorce is more acceptable? (which is totally cool in my books - why should someone be stigmatized because they married a capital L - Loser? and by Loser I also mean Abuser)

Is it because divorce is an easy option? An easy way out of an argument? I wish I had more insight into this, but as you know, I have yet to tie the knot with FrumPunk....

Rabbi Wallerstein blames the internet. And Facebook. In a recent shiur he said that husbands are spending more time online than with their wives. Is this true? Is Facebook really to blame? My dad is convinced that the Facebook generation is going to $hit. That we waste time checking out our friends' new Europe pictures when we could be out working and doing something a little more useful. Like making money. (if only I could find a job that paid me to write about myself...)

Oh, I just have to add this next bit before I forget. It may be total lashon harah, but I'm not mentioning names....

Apparently there's a new trend among singles... well divorced singles that is. Young divorced singles who may or may not have kids. Apparently there are some not-so-Shomer parties and not-so-Shomer vacations happening where these Divorcees leave their kids with their exes for the weekend and have fun with other Divorcees. Did I mention that all of these people are supposedly frum? Fakewood is right.

worth a watch - best wedding ever

Lag B'Omer means...

• You can finally listen to the amazing MM playlist
• You can finally listen to the amazing MM playlist out loud even when there are frummies around
• You don't have to hide your Ipod on the subway
  
• You probably smell like you've been smoking a pack of Marlboros
  
• Wedding Season 2009 has officially begun
  
• And now you can finally start shopping again for Wedding Season 2009
• Unless Sfira hasn't kicked your shopping habit
  
• Goodbye Scruffy beards
• Goodbye Split Ends
  

color me wicked

I started getting my nails done every week. Yes, I am one of those girls.

I used to prefer the au naturel look - still kinda do. I hated spending money on something that would only last a few days. And then there's that whole waiting period where you wait for all your nails to grow out to the same length so that you can get a decent manicure. And that hardly ever happens. Nails break.

But then I got my nails done three times in two weeks. First for my cousin's Auf Ruf, then for his wedding, and then for the Shabbos Sheva Brachos.

And now I'm hooked.

Like almost every other Jewish woman, it's become my Friday afternoon ritual.

There's something about that little bottle of Essie that makes me happy.

Wicked, A-List, Ballet Slippers, Flirt, Fancy Delancey, Picket Fence, Marshmallow, Bahama Mama... Just a few of my favorite things! (feel free to suggest more!)

Colors really do influence the way you feel. Try Wicked - you'll feel it.

My friend Rosie said I looked Lubie when I wore Fishnet Stockings.

I go with Waltz when I'm trying to fit in at Yeshivish chasunahs.

I notice that when I go dark or bright, people notice.

And while that may not be so tznius,

it's a whole lot of fun ;)

keeping up with the ex

I was having dinner recently with some friends when a guy walked into the restaurant. One of my friends had gone out on one date with him about three years ago. Nothing disastrous, just really not for her. And yet, for some reason my friend was determined to avoid him at all costs. We literally had to slink through the exit (back entrance was blocked), try to keep our heads down, sunglasses on, avoid any form of eye contact with Guy X. Utterly ridick.

I personally belong to the 'stay friends with the ex' group. Ok. Maybe not all my ex-es. There are some that have earned permanent spots on my Facebook and IM blocked lists. (the ones I refer to in this post when I talk about how happy I am to have no regrets about past non-experiences. Well, almost no experiences. ;)

But for the most part, if I saw someone I dated (whether it be someone I went out with once or someone I dated for longer), I try not to do the stop, drop and exit routine. It looks pretty pathetic if they actually notice you when you're doing that whole spiel.

Just a few nights ago, I saw an ex at a wedding, and actually said "Hi" with a big smile in a warm, I'm happy to see you, kind of way. Maybe I was just happy to see someone familiar. Or maybe I just still like the guy as a fellow human (and definitely not as a Potential).

We had a pretty good chat - as friends - and BONUS - he asked for my number so that he could set me up with some of his friends. (although, i noticed that he actually still had my digits on his phone... ). Anyhow - this bonus is pretty huge. It also teaches all of us singles a great big lesson in dating life - never end things badly! Because you never know... Maybe that nerd you went on a horrible first date with is best friends with an ultimate cutie!

all you need is some good music

My good friend Yehudis got married last night! (mazel tov Mr. & Mrs. R!!!)
I gotta say - the music was amazing!
Everything about the wedding was gorgeous, the flowers, the food, and especially the Bride (obviously, I'm only friends with gorgeous girls with good taste).
But I gotta say, the music was exactly what every wedding needs to have.
No need for a 12 man orchestra or to hire Shweky when you have a great DJ who knows how to play a mix of all types of songs to keep the party going.
Seriously, after dessert, when all of our stiletto-ed feet were blistering with pain, we couldn't stop dancing to the music.
I love when a good DJ knows how to change a song before it gets boring, knows how to mix in some Gad Elbaz and Elvis Crespo with the classics, and keeps a beat going even during the meal.
Can't wait for the next wedding!

dating a napoleon complex

My brother calls it the 'Chihuahua complex' - guys who are short but make lots of noise. And considering that our race is somewhat vertically challenged, short Jewish guys who feel the need to compensate are pretty widespread.
Short guys don't have it easy in this world - especially in the dating world, where unless they want to pull a Tom Cruise (and hypnotize some tall Katie girl into scientology submission), their choice of potential mate is pretty limited.
Most girls want someone they could look up to - physically that is. Maybe it's a shoe thing. Girls like to look pretty in heels, and there is nothing a girl dreads more than having to wear flats under the chuppah.
Maybe it's for the chosson's benefit that you don't see a couple's first dance at frum weddings... (nothing is more awkward that seeing a couple dance together when they are incompatible height wise).
I'm totally generalizing here, but I have found that short guys tend to actually be better looking and in better shape than tall guys. The buffest guys at the gym are often the shorties - maybe your mom was right when she said that guys who work out when they're not fully developed don't grow - or maybe short guys are the ones who feel the need to work with what they've got.
And really tall guys often have a 'ya I'm hot and I know it' c&cky attitude (which by the way, is a total turnoff, unless you're into girls who are into bad boys). But on the other hand, short guys can have that 'I'm small but mean' streak that you just don't want to see.
And let's face it - short guys = short kids.
But then, you're a Jewish girl - you're probably short too!

worth a watch - 土風舞 - 手足歡聚

I guess we eat Chinese Food, they dance to Miami Boys Choir.
Maybe I should take tips from these girls for my next wedding....

(sheitel tip to Miri!)

and who are you?

I know for a fact that this happens to every unmarried girl at a Frummie wedding.
An older woman comes up to you and asks, "What's your name?.
And of course, they don't mean your first name. They want to know who you belong to. So they can know everything about you in two minutes when they realize that you're so and so's daughter. So they can later bring you up as a suggestion to a single guy's mother. Or maybe so that they can feel like they know everyone in the Jewish world. Knowledge is power when you're a yenta!
I get this a lot - maybe it's because my parents are pretty well known where I'm from, and apparently I look EXACTLY like my mother (or my father when I'm with him, so either they're trying to make conversation - badly, or maybe I just look like ME!). I get stopped not only at weddings, but also at the bakery, at the supermarket, and one time at the library which was THE weirdest experience, because this woman literally went all the way over to where I was sitting in the study area and asked me if I was Mr. M's daughter.
I don't mind someone finding out who I am (except of course my readers!). It's the 20 questions that gets to me.
I remember flying to Israel once and for the first few hours, this frum woman (who also knows my parents, but apparently not as well as she wanted to) practically interviewed me about every detail of my life.
"What does your mother do, how old are you, what are you studying, how many siblings do you have, how old are they, what are they doing, why are you going to Israel, does your mother wear a sheitel, how's your uncle doing, what high school did you go to, where did your family go for pesach, where does your father daven".... and on and on...
I think that was the interview that broke me.
When I got off the plane, I was upset with myself that this complete stranger had been able to get all of this information from me, and I barely knew a thing about her.
So the next time I went to a frummie wedding, a woman came up to me and started asking me my name.
"My name is Mara Manischewitz", I told her.
"Oh, you're Mr. Manischewitz's daughter?", she asked.
"Yes, that's my dad!", I said.
"And how old are you?", she asked.
"21", I answered.
And then I said, "And what's your name?".
I think I was probably the first single girl to ever dare ask an older frum woman such a question.
I would've asked how old she was, but I had better manners than that.