when friends become mommies....

Time seriously flies.

I recently bumped into a married friend who I haven't seen in a long while.

As in last time I saw her she had just given birth to her first.

Now she's just given birth to her second!

Her firstborn isn't even a baby anymore - it's a real, talking, walking person.

It's kinda scary to think that friends my age are now mommies to people!

I still remember freaking out when some of my friends started getting husbands!

girls are prettier than boys

I get this email from some new blogger saying he just mentioned me in his second post (wow, maybe I was his inspiration). He then says that it's "not in a positive way".

Sh$t - I thought I'd find some serious mm-bashing over at his site (btw dude, if you're looking to get traffic, maybe this isn't the best way to get another writer to help you out). The post wasn't as horrendous as I thought - it was actually more about how Shadchans and girls are decieving in the adjectives they choose to describe potentials (as in, saying a girl is a model when she's really a plain jane).

I hate when guys ask if the girl I'm setting them up with is pretty - it's so subjective. If you hate someone, they'll always be ugly to you. And girls and guys often have different views about what is attractive. I can't count the number of times a guy friend would point out a 'hot' chick who I thought was a serious 'not'.  

That blogger mentioned me because apparently I describe all my friends as gorgeous. Which is true. I do think all my friends are beautiful.

I was at a friend's houseparty recently and one of my besties, (the gorgeous) Shulamis, commented that the girls there were way better looking than the guys. (lol, can you imagine if a guy said this about people of his own gender?) I think this is true in general. Maybe human female DNA is set up that way - kind of like a reverse male peacock thing. Maybe it's because girls typically spend more time on personal appearance. Maybe it's because we have more beauty tools at our disposal than men do. A girl can put on a little mascara, some blush and gloss and she looks amazing. Guys can.... shave?

jews & food - a love/hate relationship - part II

Now comes the hate part.

It's interesting that while food is so much a part of our culture, that thinness is too. In other cultures that condone fatty food (think KFC - I hope this example doesn't come off as racist), bootylicious bodies are celebrated.

But for some reason, Jewish girls and eating disorders seem to go hand in hand today.

Some people blame the Shidduch system (where a girl's dress size is a normal field on a 'resume').

But I never went to schools that frum. And yet I remember how in junior high and high school, the end of lunch and recess was when all the stalls in the little girls' room were taken. And not because anyone had to relieve the typical bodily functions. (hmm... maybe that was too much info -hope that doesn't make YOU barf). Almost everyone I knew had some type of eating disorder. Myself included.

But maybe even in our MO non-shidduch world, we were still part of the whole Jewish 'binge and purge' culture. We learned to binge on Shabbos, purge the rest of the week.

I can't totally blame our faith for our unhealthy activities. Maybe if we adhered more strongly to the Rambam's teachings then we would be in a better place.

Eating disorders are a part of the 'outside' world too. Maybe that's where it comes from. Maybe we haven't done a good enough job of insulating ourselves from those negative sources. (are the women in Kiryas Yoel less thin because they don't watch America's Next Top Model?)

jews & food - a love/hate relationship

I was home with my family for Shabbos the other week when I realized how much more I eat at home than I do when I live on my own. My mother is one of those Jewish mamas who considers a normal Friday night meal to include 6 courses, 5 salads, 3 meat dishes, 4 desserts... where Shabbos lunch extends into Shalo'shidis (why does no one else write it the way we Ashkis say it - or should I just stick to 'Seudah Shlishit' for the purposes of this post). And it's the kind of food that your eyes want, but your stomach can't take. I don't eat as much at other people's homes - maybe because I'm more self-conscious or maybe because the food doesn't look as appetizing or maybe I spend more time talking than eating...

Anyhow, that Shabbos had me thinking about how our relationship with food becomes defined by our faith. Almost every holiday is about food. The ones that aren't become about 'not eating' - so in a reverse-psychology kind of way are about food too. Someone I know defined Jewish holidays this way: "They tried to kill us, they didn't succeed. We're still here, let's eat!"

My non-Jewish friends and co-workers always complain around X-mas and Thanksgiving that they have so much to cook - but for some reason, their menus seem to pale in comparison to the weekly food-fest known as Shabbos that my family celebrates.

How on earth do we do it?

hot chani

why is everyone talking about 'hot Chani's' lately?

FrumSatire wrote a post about girls who are considered 'hot Chani's' with a picture showing girls, who in my opinion do NOT actually fit the description. (http://www.frumsatire.net/2008/11/13/what-is-a-hot-chani)

The first time I heard this term was in Israel, when those Mir boys (who weren't for mir: http://materialmaidel.blogspot.com/2008/07/mir-boys-are-not-for-mir.html) called my friends that. We were like 'huh?'. I just thought it was only a term used by guys around other guys. Until recently.

Then I did a little more research.

Little Frumhouse wrote about what it takes to be a 'hot Chani' back in 2007: http://frumhouse.blogspot.com/2007/03/do-jewish-women-have-chiyuv-to-be-hot.html
She refers to a post written in 2006 by Ask Shifra(http://askshifra.blogspot.com/2006/10/chol-hamoad-at-six-flags-part-two.html).

So what do I think?

First off - I should start by telling you that all my friends are hot chanis! Seriously. My friends are all babes - gorgeous girls, with amazing personalities, with good jobs and/or college degrees who also happen to be frum. Some are even named Chani.

I'm talking about the single girls here. The married ones often stay hot, but don't often stay in touch and tend to move away :(

So is there anything wrong with being frum and looking good at the same time? I don't think so. As long as you're within the limits of tznius, why not try to dress well?

I have a good friend who majorly flipped out in seminary. Like major. She went from dating non-Jews one month to measuring skirt lengths the next (in case you're wondering, they must be kaka length, anything too long or too short was considered immodest for where she went for sem). She was always one of the most fashionable girls in my class. She loved reading Vogue, drawing sexy clothes, keeping up on the latest trends.

Then when she come home from seminary one summer - I barely recognized her. She would only wear button-down shirts (buttoned way, way up) and ugly skirts, with thick pantyhose and ugly shoes. Very Israeli Charedi. Definitely not Hot Chani. She didn't even pluck her eyebrows or comb her hair anymore - she said those things were not important and got in the way of her spirituality.

But does Hashem really want you to look ugly?

I don't think so.

I think it's true that some people go a little overboard with their looks. Like getting too much Botox - in the end, too much of it will only make you look worse! Whenever I'm in Flatbush (home of many Hot Chanis) I actually get grossed out by some of those women. It seems to be a fad over there for women to wear too much makeup, too much jewellery, just too much of everything. I'm not dissing Brooklyn. It just seems to be so much more of a trend over there.

There is a fine line between looking good and looking gaudy. And gaudy women are not Hot Chanis. At least not in my books. But there is nothing wrong with looking good!

the new shidduch crisis

My boyfriend FrumPunk has a reallly great and well-written post about the "new" shidduch crisis - seriously, it's a must-read! http://frumpunk.wordpress.com/2008/11/12/the-new-shidduch-crises/

Siiigh...... if ONLY we had that problem!

hair hair hair

Is it wrong that I've decided I want to wear a wig because that way I won't have to worry about spending money on hair care products? (I've been giving this a lot of thought since FrumPunk and I hooked up)

Sure a sheitel can cost you over a grand. But buying mousse and gels and getting $200 professional highlights a few times a year adds up!

Ever had a bad hair day? Say goodbye to those days when you buy a wig!

Need to get ready for a wedding in under ten minutes? Slip on a sheitel and some lip gloss and you're ready to go!

Wish you could go blond without the commitment? Find a new sheitel in your favorite shade!

Just look how great Britney looked!

lets gets married

if someone came to you right now and said "I have the perfect person for you. They are your beshert. And here's the invitation to your wedding"....

Would you go through with it?