Monday, July 21, 2008

mir boys are not for mir

So i've been meeting all types of guys here in the Holy Land. Not just guys I've been set up with, but also random guys that I meet at Israel's tourist attractions who invite me and my friends out for drinks. (it's rude to say no to a free drink, isn't it? and everything is kosher here!)
A few nights ago, my friends and I randomly bumped into a group of Yeshiva bochurs at a hangout near Ben Yehuda. We instantly became friends (duh!) and hung out together that evening. They told us, rather reluctantly, (a fact which we later confirmed) that they were learning at the Mir Yeshiva.
Some of my Bais Yacov-educated friends let me know that when they were in high school, a Mir boy was the Brad Pitt of every BY girl's fantasy. A Mir boy was/is considered the epitome of a good, serious yeshiva boy that a nice BY girl should dream of marrying (ie supporting through kollel).
My friends were thus surprised to discover that these Prince Charmings of their high school dreams were actually not as 'perfect' as they 'should' be. These boys drank, smoked, hung out with girls (maybe did more), etc... BUT they did say that they could only hang out with us in 'out-of-the-way' places at night. Mir boy by day, bad boy by night. More like Batman than Prince Charming.
Maybe I'm the only one that leading this kind of double life is insane. Not to mention a lie. I guess Mir boys are just not for me.


Frayda said...

I hope these Mir guys that you met don't ruin the other Mir guys' reputations. (Please Note: My brother is a Mir guy and he does not smoke, drink, hang out with girls, etc.)

Lion of Zion said...

nice title for the post.

one thing i learned when i was in yeshiva is that almost every yeshiva has its talmidim who do the things you mention (and more). it didn't matter how right wing.

it was funny once when a friend and i crashed by his friend's yeshiva one night (our yeshiva was not in the jerusalem area and we had nowhere to stay). the students and even one teacher basically made fun of our yeshiva (it was relatively liberal), meanwhile this yeshiva was full of scummy guys who went out every night to get stoned.

Maidel said...

one thing i've learned in all my twenty-something years of life = reputation means nothing.

The Babysitter said...

I think those guys are the exceptions. I would hope that most guys who are in Mir yeshiva are not leading double lives, and are dedicated to their learning.

Some Guy said...

I was one of those "Mir" boys. I was always in very yeshivish yeshivas (there's no way to write that without it sounding wierd). I was always getting kicked out bec I'd rather be playing ball/shooting pool/going to movies/etc. than sitting and learning all day. Finally i decided that I need to go somewhere that I can do what I want and not have anyone breathing down my neck. It was the middle of the summer and I didn't know where to go for the next school year. i was up in the mountains and I was chilling out with a buddy of mine and he said "why don't you go to the Mir?"
So I did.

I think that the main reason that guys do that at the Mir is bec there are about 4,500 guys in the yeshiva, and there's no way for them to be on top of you.

To make a long story short, (too late) I was in Israel for two years, had a TON of fun (mostly kosher-ish), met my wife, actually got in some trouble with the mir (its always hard for a redhead to blend in, even in a yeshiva of 4,500 guys), and I would recommend it for any guy who is mature enough to make his own boundaries.

Maidel said...

unfortunately, there isn't a lot of breathing room in a lot of the frum world. boys are forced to comply even if their personalities don't totally mesh.
but maybe because i've never experienced this type of pressure - and because i've always been all about being real - it still kind of bothers me to see people who pretend to be frum, but do non-frum things.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you!