50,000 views this year!

aidels are out

I'm trying to set up this guy I'm friends with in Brooklyn. He said that he is looking for a girl 'with an attitude'. A girl who isn't sweet, shy or aidel. He wants a hot Brooklyn type - the kind of girl who wears super tight skirts with slits up to here - and long sheitels down to there. I don't think there's anything wrong with that type. I don't really see myself becoming a hippy housewife and I'm still working on my issues with tznius. (and let's face it - there really isn't anything tznius about looking like a married ho, and that's exactly what some of those women look like)

But whatever happened to the good girls? It used to be that there were two types of girls out there - the kind a guy had fun with, and the kind a guy actually married. Now, the aidel girls are out of vogue.

I'm friends with some aidel girls - some more aidel than others. When I say Aidel, I don't just mean a Good Girl (there is a difference). I mean those naive, innocent girls who have never been exposed to anything outside of their frum neighborhood. The ones who drop yeshivish words like its goin' outta style, and look confused when you use English words with more than two syllables. They don't get any pop culture references and probably don't even know what pop culture is. But they've often got a lev tov and have extremely good middos - or maybe its just brainwashing. (their eyes tend to be glazed over)

Maybe that's why most frum guys now prefer the other type of maidel. A material maidel is a girl who is real - not necessarily materialistic, but if that's part of living a real life, then so be it. By 'real' I mean in touch with the world - knows what's going on - and says what she thinks, not just 'the right thing' to say. (every convo with an Aidel Maidel seems to be the same - "How do you like your job?" "Oh, Baruch Hashem, I teach such an amazing group of children. They're mamish so smart, keneina hara" - translation= they're terrors)

I've noticed that there are fewer true Aidels out there - female or male (what do you call an aidel male?). And the few that are left are not really in demand. Maybe that's part of the whole lowering of the generations thing. Maybe more people are watching their not-so-secret TVs. Maybe it's just a 'what's in style' thing.

Or maybe I've just been in Brooklyn too long...

Daughter of Hamas Sheikh coming from Israel to speak about her moving life story

I went to an event in Flatbush tonight for Yad L'Achim, an organization that rescues Jewish women from abusive relationships with Arab men. Since September 2008, there have been at least 700 rescue missions that took place.

Tonight I heard Maya speak. She is the daughter of a Jewish mother and an Arab father involved in Hamas. She spoke about how at the age of 15, she was married to an Arab cousin who would hit and beat her and caused the miscarriage of their child. At 16, she managed to run away and lived homeless on the streets of Jerusalem for more than a year. Eventually, she was helped by Israeli Social Services and by Yad L'Achim. Today, she is a charedi married woman with three children, and she helps the organization in many of its rescue missions.

Maya will be speaking in other New York areas this week - click here for dates and locations.

For more information about Yad L'Achim - click here.

high on life

I just wrote this post about Marijuana over at Sex, Drugs & Judaism:

Remember when smoking weed was cool?

I remember how in high school, ganja replaced smelly markers, slap on bracelets and purple braces as the new cool thing to have.

By 12th grade, most of my friends had tried weed at least once. My friend's brother and his friend (both only one year older than us) were known dealers in our very suburban neighborhood. Some of the guys we hung out with would often have that red-eyed glassy stare of perpetual potheads. They didn't go to our school, were not frum, and some were pretty cute - basically the classic bad boys of our high school girls' dreams.

And then we graduated.

I'm leaving out the whole year in Israel thing - because let's face it - that's when you're at your most experimental. And what happens in Israel - stays in Israel.

But when you're in college - or rather, when you actually care about school while you're in college- drugs are probably the least sexy thing you can think of. They kill brain cells. They take away from potential study time. And when you're striving towards a future as a Jewish Lawyer/Doctor/Accountant (especially when your Jewish parents are footing the $50,000 a year bill) - drugs are very much not part of your life.

Unless you're friends with people with different goals.

One of my high school friends never went to college. She wasn't interested. Her boyfriend let her move in for free (provided she cook and clean) and her days were happily spent getting wasted, getting high, or getting it on with her man. He made money by working as a construction worker and selling marijuana to high school kids. Weeds is not just a tv show. It's some people's lives.

Anyhow, eventually this guy found a new girl. My ex-friend was kicked out. With no money, no college education, no spousal support to fall back on. Nowhere to even live (her Jewish parents were not about to take her back). Weed has messed her up.

I know some people who are occasional smokers - who think it's perfectly fine to get high once in a while. Marijuana's harmless right?

But cmon? Isn't it so high school?

Grownups do coke.

for the marrieds

This is both genius and hysterical.

A website that basically tells you.... well... when to have sex.

Enjoy!

Happy Birthday MM!

Exactly one year ago, on May 14th, MM wrote her first blog post.
Thank you to all the MM readers for keeping MM going and giving MM a reason to write!
Maybe MM should have a blogiversary party....
Would you come?

worth a watch - get your shave on

My friend's brother put this clip together in honor of Lag BaOmer!

Enjoy

Lag B'Omer means...

• You can finally listen to the amazing MM playlist
• You can finally listen to the amazing MM playlist out loud even when there are frummies around
• You don't have to hide your Ipod on the subway
  
• You probably smell like you've been smoking a pack of Marlboros
  
• Wedding Season 2009 has officially begun
  
• And now you can finally start shopping again for Wedding Season 2009
• Unless Sfira hasn't kicked your shopping habit
  
• Goodbye Scruffy beards
• Goodbye Split Ends
  

Happy Lag B'Omer!

The B Word

I have a major problem with the B word.

I can't bring myself to even say it. I can't think about it. I don't want to hear it - ever. And yet, the B word is something that I know I need to face if I want to have my future dream life.

I'm talking about my Budget. (or lack of one)

I have a big problem when it comes to spending money. When I first read Shopaholic (did you see the movie? Make sure you read the book - click here to buy it) - I felt like I was reading about myself - my thoughts - my spending habit. (like how Becky Bloomwood is constantly agonizingly self-debating whether or not to buy the latest chatchke to catch her eye - and then does)

I really know nothing about managing cash. I failed my High School Economics assignment where we had to make a budget with only $30,000 a year. I failed because apparently I couldn't convince my teacher that manicures were a life necessity.

I have two credit cards. I make my payments on time. Well not exactly on time - but I have yet to see any interest raised .... which is a good sign right?

As for taxes, 401ks (I just learned that word tonight) and mutual funds - I leave that stuff to the main men in my life - my father and my accountant.

Then tonight I went to a little presentation given by Ez of SerandEz fame. He talked about how lots of people have no idea what their expenses are (check), or even what their salary is (check again).

Ez has this great Jewish Economics Survey that I thing every Jew needs to fill out - if only for your own personal knowledge. Click here for the Survey (don't worry, it's not too long - as long as you know the answers!).

Sfira beards!

Whenever I got out with guys during the Omer, they're always apologizing for looking scruffy with their Sfira beard.

But unless the guy looks like he's likely to get stopped by airport security or to get mistaken for a Lubie.... sfira beards are major turn ons.

Seriously.

Think Justin Timberlake, Ryan Phillipe (pictured), Jake Gyllenhaal, Brad Pitt - Click here to see more hotness.

Thoughts?

making things so complicated

I went out with this guy the other week. I kinda liked him, and he said that he was really into me.
He asked if he could call me to go out again, and I told him he could.
But he still hasn't called.
Well he called once - but it went to voicemail.
In his message he said he would try to call again,
And I'm still waiting...

Then today I bumped into this guy I dated a little while back,
The one who proposed
But who I was definitely not interested in marrying.
It could have been more awkward than it was,
But somehow it wasn't.

And it got me thinking...

Why is that guys you're not interested in are the ones who are so simple, to the point - uncomplicated. Why are the guys you like the ones who seem to play the dating game?

Guy #2 was all set to get married.
Guy #1 can't even commit to a phone call.