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I'm trying to set up this guy I'm friends with in Brooklyn. He said that he is looking for a girl 'with an attitude'. A girl who isn't sweet, shy or aidel. He wants a hot Brooklyn type - the kind of girl who wears super tight skirts with slits up to here - and long sheitels down to there. I don't think there's anything wrong with that type. I don't really see myself becoming a hippy housewife and I'm still working on my issues with tznius. (and let's face it - there really isn't anything tznius about looking like a married ho, and that's exactly what some of those women look like)
But whatever happened to the good girls? It used to be that there were two types of girls out there - the kind a guy had fun with, and the kind a guy actually married. Now, the aidel girls are out of vogue.
I'm friends with some aidel girls - some more aidel than others. When I say Aidel, I don't just mean a Good Girl (there is a difference). I mean those naive, innocent girls who have never been exposed to anything outside of their frum neighborhood. The ones who drop yeshivish words like its goin' outta style, and look confused when you use English words with more than two syllables. They don't get any pop culture references and probably don't even know what pop culture is. But they've often got a lev tov and have extremely good middos - or maybe its just brainwashing. (their eyes tend to be glazed over)
Maybe that's why most frum guys now prefer the other type of maidel. A material maidel is a girl who is real - not necessarily materialistic, but if that's part of living a real life, then so be it. By 'real' I mean in touch with the world - knows what's going on - and says what she thinks, not just 'the right thing' to say. (every convo with an Aidel Maidel seems to be the same - "How do you like your job?" "Oh, Baruch Hashem, I teach such an amazing group of children. They're mamish so smart, keneina hara" - translation= they're terrors)
I've noticed that there are fewer true Aidels out there - female or male (what do you call an aidel male?). And the few that are left are not really in demand. Maybe that's part of the whole lowering of the generations thing. Maybe more people are watching their not-so-secret TVs. Maybe it's just a 'what's in style' thing.
Or maybe I've just been in Brooklyn too long...
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
aidels are out
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10 comments:
Given my ancestry (my mother's a New Yorker) it is hard for me to say this, but I would guess that you've just been in Brooklyn too long.
And it's not true that there are no good girls left - my wife is one of them... Granted, she's not your stereotypical "aidel" person (though she doesn't wear slit skirts).
Personally, I think that most "stereotypically aidel" people are somewhat shallow... Maybe its because one of my rebbeim, who is shtark incarnate, is also very worldly. Or maybe it's because I believe that sheltered existance doesn't work...
Sick. this guy has the wrong priorities and will ultimately suffer the consequences of what it means to have a wife with an attitude and who thinks shes a hottie.
he wants a trophy- does he also want her to go brazilian wac down there??
lol... Great post... 2nd year and going strong!!!!
There's an aidel fun, with it type. Then there's a aidel naive, ignorant, better than everybody type.
You seem to split it more between material and aidel... But overall I think it's more a difference between to types of "aidel".
you live in brooklyn?
That is not fair to split it into two. There are girls who abide by snues and are nice, but speak their mind, yeah, you may not find them in the super frummy world, but that is most likely because they may have left or they weren't raised that way. I don't dress like a hot chanie, but I'm not some ignorant aidle maidle. Maybe that guy is just looking in the wrong places. or maybe he is just more honest then the rest of us.
why would the women your'e referring to wear a wig in the first place? Is is fear of parents and the community?
i kinda disagree with this post... theres lots of aidel girls out there and lots of guys who are still looking for that. this was just ONE guy who didnt want that type.
i agree with "prili"- im not a hot chanie ho, but i think i dress well and am worldly and with it.
and anon- is there a deeper meaning with going brazil down south? (uh oh, is this me being "aidel" and naive? lol)
i don't think i've split up the world of jewish girls into categories with this post. rather, i just explored two very opposite types.
And, as I mentioned, 'Good girls' and 'aidel girls' are not necessarily the same!
I'm guessing he doesn't want an aidel maidel specifically because she wont get a brazilian, among other similar things.
The problem with brainwashed girls is that there's a good chance they'll take the brainwashing into the bedroom too.
You've been in Brooklyn too long. There are a lot of eidel girls out there. And a lot of guys who either ask for them or ask davka not for them.
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