eat out in the city - on pesach

Koshertopia presents a list of restaurants that will open this Pesach in New York and New Jersey.

If you're someone who's more than ready to mish, click here for this year's guide.

Happy Eating!

do you mish?

Pesach seems to be an extremely sensitive time of year, especially for non-Mishers...

When some of your family eat Gebrochts and some don't... what are you to do?

Does a gebrochts kitchen mean the same thing as a treif one for someone who won't have matzah balls with their chicken soup?

My family doesn't eat gebrochts, but we do eat everything else (well, except kitniyot) and we don't eat our matzah over garbage bags...

I remember having a super-sweet boss at work one year who bought me several boxes of  'kosher for passover' cookies. I said thanks and smiled and put them in the company kitchen for others to share...I didn't dare break his heart and tell him I couldn't ingest the matzah meal-laden treats... I hope he didn't notice that I didn't eat one...

I can't honestly remember any other situation where I was in someone's home on Pesach and couldn't eat... Maybe some of my friends have felt guilty nibbling on a piece of chocolate at my house...

Some people have so many rules...

But isn't Pesach about being free?

happy pesach!

So sorry I haven't been more 'active' on here this week...

I've been a little busy shopping for new holiday outfits!

(as I'm sure you all have been as well)

Just wanted to take the time to wish each and everyone of you

A VERY Happy & Healthy (try drinking prune juice, I swear it helps) Pesach!!!

offering to pay on a date

Every restaurant date ends with the same little anxiety...


When the bill comes, what's a girl to do?

Just say 'thanks for a great dinner'?

Would it be nice to offer to pay?

Or is that offensive in some way? (maybe it shows a lack of confidence in his ability to cover the meal)

do guys spend more money on girls they like?

I know the answer seems a little obvious...

Why shouldn't a guy go to greater lengths to impress a girl he's actually into?

But what about the first time they go out?

Do most guys have their 'usual spots' they hit with every single first date?

Or does a good first impression guarantee a better location?

Does that mean that the guy who took me somewhere reallllly nice likes me a lot more than the guy I went to Starbucks with?

I mean what I say, not I what I didn't

One major gripe of the whole dating game is having to be careful about what I say and how I say it.
As you may have already noticed, I'm pretty blunt. When I say something, I mean what I say. And that's about it. I don't speak in 'riddles' or have an ulterior meaning. In fact, I fail to pick up on that stuff when other people do that. (seriously, if a guy's into me, I'm often the last to know. if you come over and you're hungry, tell me - i wont hear your stomach growling)
If there are certain topics I'm a little more shy about, it's because I don't know how to talk about those things without giving everything away, because I know I can't give my honest opinion without sounding like a douche (can a girl be a douche? it's kind of a strange and dirty term isn't it....).
The worst is when guys read into something I've said as being more than what I actually said.
When I say "I hate the cold" - it doesn't mean I want to live in Hawaii.
"I'm not really into horror movies" - doesn't mean I wont ever watch one.
I'd give you more examples but it's almost 2 am...
Sh%t - it's almost 2 am....
Good night :)

what would u pay to be in that room? - Handsome Men's Club

conversations with a belz girl

So Frumpunk wanted to know more about my convo with the Belz girl which I mentioned in my previous post.

Here are a few insights:

The whole no-driving thing for women - according to my source (who is 17 years old) that rule isn't so much a halacha or like a rebbe's 'commandment' per se,  so much as it a minhag.... Apparently they're big on keeping on the same traditions as their parents - That means that if your mother never drove, you won't either. I told her how I couldn't imagine life without my car - how much independence and freedom it gives me.
But she said that the idea of learning to drive would never even enter her mind - and besides, everything she'll ever need is only a walk, taxi or ride (from a father) away.
I realized there are some pros to a no-car lifestyle - she'll never have road rage or the aggravation of looking for a parking spot.

Belz women do not wear Shpitzels - that's a Satmar trend. 
(fyi -if you're wondering what that is, here's Wiki's definition: A Shpitzel is a headgear worn by many married Hassidic Women. It consists of a web-net covering the women's head, often with a "braid of hair" across the front. It is covered by a tichel.)
Instead, Belz girls wear whatever it is their mothers wear - which is usually one of the following four options: human hair sheitel, half-human hair sheitel, sheitel+hat, sheitel+headband.

Belz girls marry Belz boys
Yes, I even discussed dating with this girl.(we're that close).
So I asked her if she would consider marrying some other type of Chassid. The answer was that her parents would very much prefer that she marry another Belzer. So there you have it.

Belz girls talk to Belz boys (in secret)
This one was kind of a shocker. Granted, the people having these illicit conversations (sometimes over the telephone, and at night!) are often related (usually cousins). She seemed pretty excited to tell me this - maybe because she hasn't told anyone else and maybe because my non-Chassidish status means there's no chance I could ruin any future shidduch opportunities for her.

Dating
So, obviously, dating as the rest of the world knows it (well maybe not including Asia or most of the Middle East) is very different from what this girl will experience.
Instead, her parents will do a bunch of research, find the perfect Belzer bochur, bring him home for a sit-in or two with their daughter - and TA DA - the wedding plans begin!
I asked her what if the guy they brought home was butt ugly or had horrible breath (she had let me know just before that handsomeness was one of the qualities she would look for in a Potential - also slightly unexpected).
But apparently, the research stage usually covers qualities such as looks, so she wasn't too worried about meeting any Quasimodos.

 ***
Ok - there you have it! My conversation with a Belz Girl summed up for your curious minds. If you have any questions, don't e-mail me. Instead, feel free to visit 13th Avenue in Boro Park and find your own Chassidish bestie. Or just ask a flight attendant to move your seat next to the hottie with the tan tights.

moving to the guy's town

For most frum single girls, the 'Willing to Relocate' checkbox on their SAYS profile is always ticked. It's usually expected that if you marry a guy who's not from where you are, you're the one who moves.

Maybe it's that way because traditionally it's been the guy who was the one with the stable job and the guy who became the principal family breadwinner. And even though women today are more likely than not to have jobs, it's still often assumed that her work is only supplementary income.

A lot of frum women actually choose professions based on their relocation-factor (could explain the surplus of OTs, PTS, teachers, etc). It's as those we're all resigned to the inevitable fact that we could end up pretty much anywhere - wherever our own Mr. Dreamy-berg resides.

On a recent flight I was seated next to a 17 year-old chassidish girl. Naturally, we became besties. I told her about life as MO, she told me about life as Belz. She couldn't believe I went to school with boys. I couldn't believe she didn't want to drive a car. It was a journalist's dream. (if only I had gone into that profession).

One interesting difference we discovered was the whole relocation issue. In her community it's the men (well, boys) who move. They're usually pretty young when they get married (no sh%t), and the guys are still learning in yeshiva - so they can almost go anywhere. It's thought that it's important for a girl to live near her parents, especially her mother (who iy'H will help her with all the grandchildren k'h - and maybe they're trying to avoid any potential bad-mother-in-law issues). Then, when the boy husband finishes learning (or they have three children, whichever comes first), he gets brought into his wife's family business.

I kind of like the Belz approach. If only because it means staying near all my family and friends. :)
Should the rest of the frum world get a little more chassidish in this regard?