Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I mean what I say, not I what I didn't

One major gripe of the whole dating game is having to be careful about what I say and how I say it.
As you may have already noticed, I'm pretty blunt. When I say something, I mean what I say. And that's about it. I don't speak in 'riddles' or have an ulterior meaning. In fact, I fail to pick up on that stuff when other people do that. (seriously, if a guy's into me, I'm often the last to know. if you come over and you're hungry, tell me - i wont hear your stomach growling)
If there are certain topics I'm a little more shy about, it's because I don't know how to talk about those things without giving everything away, because I know I can't give my honest opinion without sounding like a douche (can a girl be a douche? it's kind of a strange and dirty term isn't it....).
The worst is when guys read into something I've said as being more than what I actually said.
When I say "I hate the cold" - it doesn't mean I want to live in Hawaii.
"I'm not really into horror movies" - doesn't mean I wont ever watch one.
I'd give you more examples but it's almost 2 am...
Sh%t - it's almost 2 am....
Good night :)


Rabbi Lars Shalom said...


Anonymous said...

"because I know I can't give my honest opinion without sounding like a douche"

what kind of lame excuse is that? is it a douchey opinion or not?

Anonymous said...

this post reminds me of how a few years ago i told my then boyfriend of a few months that im not really into sparkly jewelry. he went to like 6 different stores to find me non sparkly earrings for chanuka. it was very sweet. we're married now and hes learned that i didnt mean that i abhor anything that twinkles a little, and this chanuka i got 3 sets of earring,two non sparkly and one sparkly, all very pretty.

katrina said...

I had this problem in the past, too, but it's basically about personality differences. Some women are direct, some women less so, and some women are passive-agressive nutjobs. If your date is used to women in categories 2 and 3, he is more likely to think you mean what you DON'T say, even if you are blunt enought that it should be clear that is not the case. There is not a magic solution here. If it's a third date, you might tell him that you are direct. Before that, I'm not sure.