Wednesday, March 17, 2010

do guys spend more money on girls they like?

I know the answer seems a little obvious...

Why shouldn't a guy go to greater lengths to impress a girl he's actually into?

But what about the first time they go out?

Do most guys have their 'usual spots' they hit with every single first date?

Or does a good first impression guarantee a better location?

Does that mean that the guy who took me somewhere reallllly nice likes me a lot more than the guy I went to Starbucks with?

15 comments:

Sefardi Gal said...

Good question, MM. I'm curious to know the answer!

Anonymous said...

I think for the first date or two you are meeting a guy don't read into what he's spending. I've spent a very little on second dates before for girls I really liked. Once a girl and I couldn't go out until 10. Drinks made sense that evening.

Bored Jewish Guy said...

I usually plan two places in advance, a nice place where I'll take most girls and a convenient close by place in case I get a bad first impression of her. There's no way the girl would be able to tell.

Whether the guy takes you to starbucks or some really fancy place, probably has more to do with his dating style than how much he likes you.

Harry said...

it has more to do with dating style. I try not to spend so much money on dates, especially earlier ones, mainly because I pay for my own dates and not my parents. The trick is to find out ways to save money without the girl figuring it out. Some girls are cognizant of the fact I take the BB into the city as opposed to the battery tunnel, and some girls aren't.

If i end up spending more money on a girl, I don't complain about it, I have a bit of savings to spend, and I knew about it in advance. I generally will try to do activities which are cheaper, ie walk in the park, and hopefully she is understanding.

harry-er than them all said...

wrong gmail profile, but that last comment was from me

Bored Jewish Guy said...

"I pay for my own dates and not my parents"

Me too, I kind of wish my parents would pay though. It's easier to enjoy a $7 glass of soda if you're not paying for it :-)

ShidduchMaven said...

I totally agree with Harry on this. Couldn't say it much better than him.

Although occasionally I have the urge to splurge and I'll do something crazy like take a girl to a broadway or something I would have done for a girl had I been in a relationship... My craziest experience was booking tickets to "Wicked" with center seats a few rows from the stage. Once in a while, I figure I can still treat a girl out even if it may not go anywhere, I like to enjoy my dates too.

EJB said...

One things for sure, "the guy who took you somewhere reallllly nice DOESNT NECESSARILY like you a lot more than the guy you went to Starbucks with."
You MIGHT be able to compare how much 1 guy has spent on different dates, but you can't compare different people and draw any conclusions. They may have different spending habits.

Sefardi Gal said...

Hmm...interesting.

DB said...

It depends... went out with a 5 towns girl and spent more on her in one date that ended up going no where than all the other dates I have been on (not too many).

I learned my lesson and as I ALSO pay for my dates I am going to stick to my original first date plan which is really nice and perfect to get to know a girl on a more intimate level which will hopefully lead to eventually spending more money on her :)

Shades of Grey said...

I never try to spend money just to impress dates - it's such a false thing to do. I read somewhere once - don't do anything on dates you wouldn't do in married life. So if you're splurging on a number of expensive dates (restaurants, etc) are you planning on doing that in marriage?

The guy isn't trying to impress her with waving a fat wallet around or flashing his multitude of credit cards - I would never want to marry someone who likes me solely for that reason. If she is impressed with me for who I am and what I believe in, and the relationship progresses to something more - maybe after a month of dating, then I'd start spending a little more, since there is a greater investment in the relationship. But it is definitely not worth spending a large sum of money on a date that has no guarantee of something more longterm - it's a total waste of funds.

Imagine going on multiple 2-3 date shidduchim and spending big bucks - she might be impressed, but she'll still dump you, though perhaps with a bit of guilt because the guy went all out for no real reason.

Is this not the most sensible approach? You spent money on someone you care for, not just to hook someone into liking you.

Bored Jewish Guy said...

Shade: I disagree. I think it's good to spend a bit more on dating ,if you can afford it. Not that you should show off, but it's good to show that you're not cheap and obsessed with money. Personally I take it a bit overboard, b/c I like to splurge and I need to make dating fun for me. I try to be careful not to give the false impression that I'm made of money though.

frumsatire said...

When it comes to dating a lot of guys are insecure and feel they need to make up for their lack of personality by showering girls with money. I have met quite a few girls who told that the second the guy pulls up in a really nice car they think negatively of him.

Maidel said...

ok - but do you change your mind about where you're going to take her on a first date once you've met her?

%Shocked% said...

It very much depends on spending habits and who is paying for it. I pay for my own dates and support myself in general. On the other hand, the idea of going to a hotel lobby is a ridiculous way of spending an evening in my opinion, especially when the weather is nice. If it's really nice outside, I'll happily buy a coffee and go for a walk. If the weather isn't so pleasant, dinner it will be.

I don't think the answer to your question is so obvious. Where I go, and therefore how much I end up paying, depends on the weather not on the girl.