Monday, March 8, 2010

conversations with a belz girl

So Frumpunk wanted to know more about my convo with the Belz girl which I mentioned in my previous post.

Here are a few insights:

The whole no-driving thing for women - according to my source (who is 17 years old) that rule isn't so much a halacha or like a rebbe's 'commandment' per se,  so much as it a minhag.... Apparently they're big on keeping on the same traditions as their parents - That means that if your mother never drove, you won't either. I told her how I couldn't imagine life without my car - how much independence and freedom it gives me.
But she said that the idea of learning to drive would never even enter her mind - and besides, everything she'll ever need is only a walk, taxi or ride (from a father) away.
I realized there are some pros to a no-car lifestyle - she'll never have road rage or the aggravation of looking for a parking spot.

Belz women do not wear Shpitzels - that's a Satmar trend. 
(fyi -if you're wondering what that is, here's Wiki's definition: A Shpitzel is a headgear worn by many married Hassidic Women. It consists of a web-net covering the women's head, often with a "braid of hair" across the front. It is covered by a tichel.)
Instead, Belz girls wear whatever it is their mothers wear - which is usually one of the following four options: human hair sheitel, half-human hair sheitel, sheitel+hat, sheitel+headband.

Belz girls marry Belz boys
Yes, I even discussed dating with this girl.(we're that close).
So I asked her if she would consider marrying some other type of Chassid. The answer was that her parents would very much prefer that she marry another Belzer. So there you have it.

Belz girls talk to Belz boys (in secret)
This one was kind of a shocker. Granted, the people having these illicit conversations (sometimes over the telephone, and at night!) are often related (usually cousins). She seemed pretty excited to tell me this - maybe because she hasn't told anyone else and maybe because my non-Chassidish status means there's no chance I could ruin any future shidduch opportunities for her.

So, obviously, dating as the rest of the world knows it (well maybe not including Asia or most of the Middle East) is very different from what this girl will experience.
Instead, her parents will do a bunch of research, find the perfect Belzer bochur, bring him home for a sit-in or two with their daughter - and TA DA - the wedding plans begin!
I asked her what if the guy they brought home was butt ugly or had horrible breath (she had let me know just before that handsomeness was one of the qualities she would look for in a Potential - also slightly unexpected).
But apparently, the research stage usually covers qualities such as looks, so she wasn't too worried about meeting any Quasimodos.

Ok - there you have it! My conversation with a Belz Girl summed up for your curious minds. If you have any questions, don't e-mail me. Instead, feel free to visit 13th Avenue in Boro Park and find your own Chassidish bestie. Or just ask a flight attendant to move your seat next to the hottie with the tan tights.


    Mystery Woman said...

    All of this is true of most chassidim - not just Belz. Nothing shocking here if you're from Brooklyn.

    Anonymous said...

    it isn't shocking that cousins of opposite sex 'talk'? i think it is, even in BP

    Mystery Woman said...

    It is, and I don't think that's true...generally. I think that particular girl may have known of a case or two, and it was as shocking to her as to anyone else. It's definitely not the norm.

    Data said...

    Yup, all stuff I knew. And I ain't Chassidish. My cousins are wannabes, though.

    They aren't THAT odd. It was like reading an anthropological journal.

    Maidel said...

    mystery woman -
    not sure if i made that part clear...
    the girl i met told me that SHE talks to male cousins...

    Data -
    it was kinda anthropological huh? one of my fave subjects!

    Anonymous said...

    Dear MM,
    I think your blog rocks because you write so creatively and to the point. I was just wondering, when you say that you're MO (shomer shabbos/ kashrus being standard), are you the pants wearing kind, or the skirts only kind? I'm just wondering because my friend was trying to classify me based on my clothes lol

    Maidel said...

    dear anon,
    thanks for the great feedback!

    Not sure that you can be classified based on the clothes you wear....
    I know girls who wear pants and daven three times a day...
    And girls who wear skirts and act like hos...
    clothes do not make the (wo)man.