prison minyan

They say Jews and Italians are very similar. We're both obsessed with good food, we both put a lot of emphasis on family, and we both spend a lot of time Upstate. And by Upstate, I mean Woodbourne. As in the Correctional Facility.

I'm totally generalizing here.

Not all Italians are criminals.

But in the Jewish community, it seems like pulling a 'Bernie' is the latest fad, and has been for some time.

In Crooklyn, they say that if you actually have to sweat for your money, you're doing something wrong. If you actually have to work for your money, you're an idiot. Why work when you can work the system?

No one in Boro Park pays for food anymore. There's no need when the government gives out free food stamps. No one's married legally anymore - why bother when single mothers get nice fat cheques in the mail from old Uncle Sam.

I hate ranting.

But whatever happened to being embarrassed about serving time?

I'm sure you all heard about that Chassidish guy who had Shweky perform at his son's bar mitzvah... the one held inside of the prison cafeteria.

It's like jails have replaced country clubs as THE place to be for frum men. And apparently membership is a lot cheaper. Woodbourne practically has all the same amenities as a Kosher Pesach hotel - various outdoor and indoor sports activities, gym equipment, daily minyans, chavrusahs, glatt kosher gourmet meals. And best of all - THE MOST kosher mechitzah in the world.

And why shouldn't all this exist in Upstate New York? Especially when our men are encouraged not to go to college, encouraged to stay in kollel for as long as possible and convinced that certain jobs are 'beneath them'... all the while being encouraged to marry young and have large families, pressured to have gorgeous homes and luxury cars and expected to keep up appearances... even if that includes an orange prison uniform.