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I was sitting on the train the other day, chatting with a good friend, swapping shidduch stories, the latest horror stories (often one and the same) and the newest crop of awful questions asked by nosy yentahs.
By the time the Express exited the platform at its last stop in Brooklyn, my friend and I had developed a little entourage of fellow shidduch-daters and commentators who provided their own profound insights and lilting tales of singledom.
I thought I’ve heard it all.
I’ve heard of the usual background checks – you know, where the shadchan looks into whether eight of your European great-grandmothers hid their hair.
But apparently now, in order to be frummer than thou, an extra measure of frum precaution is taken in the form of the following essential question (girls, please answer truthfully):
‘What does your mother wear on her head when she lights the Shabbos candles?’
Here are your choices:
a) Nothing at all
b) A hat or tichel
c) A sheitel
d) A sheitel & a hat or tichel
If you answered A, then what are you even doing reading a blog about frummkeit???
If you answered B or C, you’re frummish – maybe not right for the boy in mind…
But if you answered D – then we have a winner! (well, actually, it just qualifies you for round 2 – which is where we ask your bra size, but it’s a good start)
That’s right – sheitels are out of vogue – you now need to prove that your Ima wears a double decker when she’s doing any sort of mitzvah.
Since when did we all start becoming so holy?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
the double decker
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17 comments:
I'm calling bullshit on this one. Someone spread a tall tale and it's being swallowed whole by all the future yentes. I guess the word gullible was taken out of the dictionary.
MM, I hope this article was a joke which I have failed to interpret. Otherwise you Brooklyn girls need to check what's in your drinking water or stop living under power lines.
Could it be (from) a minhag like chassidish women who double cover with scarves on fri night, or when walking kids down to chuppah but not other times?
no bs with this one...
stam - the double cover you're talking about is the same same double decker that I am - except it's no longer a minhag solely for chassidish ladies... suddenly everyone's chassidish!
maybe theyre just trying to be more heimish :) cuz *obviously* the more heimish the better. ;)
Yep, people ask interesting questions.
BH, nobody has asked me what head covering my mother wears.
Personally, I would prefer to wear a hat when I'm married, or a scarf. sheitals look too real and I feel it's missing the point. I would wear a fall with a hat though
Next up: do you or don't you wear Bullet-Proof stockings.
MM, I mean this in a nice way, but this is sooooooooooooooooo old. I heard this one over 10 years ago. The question is, what does the question mean? Are you extra holy if you wear a non-wig covering for candle-lighting? Or does getting your sheital onbefore candle-lighting prove you are all organized and a great housewife? My sister's answer? I don't light candles wearing a snood or a wig...I'm the "towel type..."
Maybe the boy wants a chasiddishe girl, like the home he was raised in. I think thats a much more far Q than the question you made up about the bra size.
MM -- you left out "yarmulke" as an option!
choice E a doily (reform).
Why is everybody so antsy about other people. if to you its a stupid question so don't go out with people to whom its important. (dont worry you wont, nobody in your circles actually asks that). If to somebody its important whether because they have such a minhag, its a new chumrah that they want to adopt, they like the look, or any ridiculous reason you could come up with, then that is their prerogative. Don't be bothered by it and just be happy that whoever you marry doesn't care about that.
It is interesting, to note that 45-55 years ago when these crazy yentas were young, a man had to wait for a girl to appear and we were only interested in weather or not SHE was a good pair to her potential bashert. And the same thing goes for the boy. Don't believe me? Just ask anyone who's older than 40 or 50, how did they get married, also look at their bellies, you don't need to be an expert to tell that zero size bra would not fit there. But that's after WWII and Great depression and Holocaust, now since we established ourselves here, some yentas have realized that hey, the life is too good and if you can do i can do it better. If you are frum, I'll make believe I'm better. And so when they saw future generations coming, they wanted only perfect kids and best make belief reputations. So my answer to Shiduch crisis is this you girls, we have to ship you off somewhere and you 'd only come back one at a time only, when you ready to get married, so that when these yentas have no spool of girls, they'll stop over choosing and start taking good enough girls just like they did 50 yaers ago. More girls - more shiduch crisis, less girls - less shiduch crisis get it?
ok-so although i've never heard of THAT question, amongst the many that are goin around-I just wanna say, my grandmother wears a white 'tichel' and apron when she lghts candles friday night. I guess it's some kinda minhag? or that her mother did it so she does. I don't know what category that puts me in...maybe "Jewish"?
It's so disgusting that people can consider themselves holier than someone else just because of the way they cover their hair. My mom doesn't cover her hair at all and that doesn't make her any less of a yid or any less worthy. Why is everything today about being holier/frummer than thou? It completely defeats the purpose of judaism
It doesn't make her less of a yid but it does make her less holy, there is a portion of halacha that she just doesnt keep. I lie/tell lashon harah etc etc and that makes me less holy. I claim I work on it but probably dont and that makes me less holy too. Sorry to tell it like it is, i'm sure your mother is a wonderful person and I'm sure there are many areas of halacha that she does keep, perhaps even better than those who do cover their hair, and in those areas she is more holy. As far as tallying up the holy points, that is not for us mortals see Avos 2:1
The correct answer, sheitel, kippa and a hat!
The next things the ‘rabbis’ will come up with is to tell the woman to wear a CARPET on her head.
Not a sheitel AND a hat, but a Carpet. Or you could go for 5 shaitels on your heads and a rug.
And do you know what the Jewish woman will say to her husband?
‘Yes, husband! I am now wearing a carpet on my head!’
You women must either be extremely thick, or petrified.
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