Tuesday, December 23, 2008

are charedi girls raped? - Part Two

Back in November I wrote Part One where I questioned how Chassidish couples manage to 'do the deed' on their wedding night after years of being told to stay away from the opposite sex.

Then I recently came upon a blog called Hasidic Feminist - which from what I understand is written by a woman who is formerly Chassidish, was once married, and is finally lending her voice to the Chassidish female experience.

I feel sad that for many, being Jewish = following the teachings of a particular group of Jews.

Neverthless, I highly recommend reading her site. She doesn't have that many posts up yet. But it really gives you a feel, and at some points shocks you, about the goings-on of that world for those who don't know too much (myslef included).

She recently wrote about her mikvah experience, and I have to say, the idea of having a mikvah lady examine my naked body once a month doesn't sound like the most holy endeavor to me either...

One post that I found particularly disturbing is the one on Vaginimus - a medical condition affecting many Chassidish women today. Click here to read more.

I hope she keeps writing! I know I will keep reading!

11 comments:

NotaGeek! said...

The cure/solution she writes about that's done for Vaginimus is what I found most disturbing...
All it is, is adding insult to injury...
How disgusting that women have no rights or say in the matter... Marriage education should be focused on teaching respect for your reproductive organs instead of disrespect...

EsPes said...

im not even going to begin to read her blog... i know ill just end up annoyed lol

Jessica said...

It's odd to read the blog of a (former?) chasid who is so literate in the English language. Makes one wonder if this person is portraying who they really are or just giving a voice to those people that she is writing about.

Maidel said...

jessica - she answers that question in one of her posts.

Jessica said...

Ah... I only read one post, so I guess that's why I missed it.

Anonymous said...

Jessica--I also found myself skeptical of that. I find her writing style to be sort of a cross between Eric Segal and Naomi Ragen.
She may have an "explanation" but I really doubt it.

Anonymous said...

Jessica--I also found myself skeptical of that. I find her writing style to be sort of a cross between Eric Segal and Naomi Ragen.
She may have an "explanation" but I really doubt it.

Amy said...

I personally know a girl in her twenties, who comes from a very well-known Belz family. She is somewhat of a 'rebel' - she broke off an engagement the day before the wedding, a big no-no in that community. She is also one of the most well-read girls I know. She reads Shakespeare, Chaucer, Hegel, etc....

It is our own prejudice and naivete that makes us think of Chassidic people as backwards or close-minded. While this may be true of some of the population, one can never generalize.

Anonymous said...

Nothing to do with being "backward" or uneducated. It's just that the writing is so over-the-top (especially with all the salacious details--which is what I meant by the Segal/Ragen references). I mean, it reminds me of those books by Dave Pelzer ("A Child Called It")--over the top with graphic details in a different way, I read a very interesting article in the New York Times magazine that pretty much disproved his books and showed to be a publicity seeking individual who would buy warehouses of his own books to keep them on the bestseller lists.
Like somebody commented on the actual blog, it's those little details like tipping the attendant 200 bucks (not to mention the overly dramatic conversation between her mother and the attendant etc.) that just make it highly unbelievable. I personally do not believe the person writing the blog is who she says she is.

NotaGeek! said...

I could believe her stories...
Since these issues are covered up so many years anything could happen...

But one commenter there was contradicting her authenticity as follows:
"If she claimed to have gone to the library and read every book how come she didn't know anything about sex or her body"

chanie said...

She's a complete fake. She claims that she only learned the anatomy the day before the wedding. That's not possible, because if she were really frum, she'd have had to do at least four bedikot prior- and go to the mikva that night.

Based on this, you can consider her fake....no frum woman gets married without bedikot. Those have to be done BEFORE the day before the wedding.