is it ok to like the gays?

There's a gay Jewish blogger out there (www.almostkosher.blogspot.com) that I discovered the other day. He's married (to a boy) and recently converted, Conserva/Reform style, to Judaism. In a comment on FrumSatire's recent post (based on one of our late night chats), Brian Judd asked about the halachas involved with gay men being able to go to a mikvah with other men.

Interesting question. My friends have actually wondered about that. Where do "the gays" fit in in an Orthodox setting? Do they have to be shomer negiah around men too? And do shomer rules not apply around women? (same q goes for the "lady gays" too)

I know doing the gay thing isn't exactly kosher. Ok, it's downright treif. And kinda gross when you think about the logistics of it (from a hetero standpoint at least! to quote Ben Affleck's character in Chasing Amy, "there are in holes and there are out holes" lol ok, too graffic huh? Babysitter - keep your eyes closed!)

But I remember taking a sociology class taught by an openly gay professor. He wasn't your 'typical' gay guy - he was pretty old, gray hair, big glasses, really overweight and had a horrible sense of style. He once talked about how hard it was for him when he was in his teens and twenties - growing up during a time when the perfect Pleasantville family was considered the ideal norm and when no one, not even celebrities, came out of the closet. His family pretty much shunned him. He spoke about how he would wish he wasn't gay, how it wasn't an option for him not to be. It was who he was.

I'm not going to debate the whole nature vs. nurture issue right now. Whether or not people are born gay is something that I can never really figure out. But the Torah says that acting on 'gay urges' is wrong. So could the Torah truly ban something that people are not able to control?

Despite what the tefillin daters may say, I do think that sexuality is something you can control. Just like you can control the urge to eat an entire bag of Miss Vickie's Jalapeno Chips (oooh so good). It may be harder to stop once you've had one chip (they say you can never each just one!), but you can always stop. And if you leave the bag closed, you (and your hips) are much better off.

There is this gay Jewish boy that I know. One day he told me how depressed he was that he was single (his ex had moved on - to a sheigitz!). It occurred to me that he would reallly get along with this other gay Jewish boy I knew. I was all excited to make the shidduch! (lol i'm a future yenta!) But then I wondered - was I being an accomplice to a potential sin? It turned out that gay boy #2 didn't think gay boy #1 was so attractive, so it didn't work (potential sin avoided!).
But was I in the wrong?

Despite knowing that being gay goes against my Ortho beliefs, I can't help but love being the Grace to my gay friends' Will. (Lesbians, Im not too into.... maybe Ive been hit on one time too many and it freaked me out) But gay guys are like girl friends that can give you a boy's perspective. So is it ok to like the gays?