Monday, May 19, 2008

no makeup and messy hair

Ever notice that the one day you look a mess, is the exact day that you bump into EVERYONE you know?
I'm not saying that I normally put on a whole face and flat iron my hair every time I leave the house - which, btw, is what a lot of my poor Boro Park friends do. (I think those girls kinda overdo it, donchathink? Do casual clothes even exist on 13th Avenue? Learn to blend the blush ladies and you don't need to wear ALL of your Shabbos jewelry to go to the corner store!)
(please forgive the rant)
Anyhow, here in Out-of-Town, while I dont dress in my Shabbos best every day, I do try and make an effort to look decent.
But sometimes, even the Material Maidel has a bad day.
The other day was one of those really gray, rainy, cant-get-out-of-bed days. And of course, I didn't. I stayed in bed, dreaming of new blog posts....
When suddenly.... I started feeling something wet touch my face. Don't get any crazy ideas - it was my malti-poo Daisy (yes, just like Jessica Simpson's!) trying to wake me up from my mini-coma so that I would give her breakfast #3 of the day.
All I have to say is Baruch Hashem for hungry multi-poos, because at that moment, as I looked over at my alarm clock (which I have yet to learn to program), I realized that I was about 3 hours late for my appointment with Dr. Mean, my dentist. Ok, he's really not that mean, and he is the best in town, but his secretary can be a female malti-poo and makes you pay for cancelling an appointment with less than 24-hour notice.
So as I scoot out of bed and manage to find clothes on my floor that don't smell too bad, I use the newspaper elastic to tie back my bedhead hair in a messy bun, find my keys and wallet and jump in my car.
Why didn't i think to look in the mirror???
It turns out that although I missed my appointment, the mean secretary is on maternity leave! There's a temp working the desk at the dentist who is really nice and manages to pencil me.
Wow, Hashem's on my side today!
Well, that's what I'm thinking until Dr. not-so-Mean says that I have a bunch of cavities to be filled.
So when I walk out of the dentist's three hours later, not only is my hair a wild mess, my clothes all wrinkly, mismatched and kinda smelly, but now my face is a huge swollen disaster. Looks like the emergency lipgloss I keep in my car isn't gonna cut it.
Great timing to get this text from Miri: "where are you? it's shaindy's birthday and we're all at the restaurant waiting for you!"
What's the yeshivish word for "Sh!t"?
No time to go home and change - and how could I miss Shaindy's surprise party? Oh well, Baruch Hashem my friends aren't that judgmental!
Well, they aren't, but my mom's yenta friends and my shadchan kinda are. And guess who happens to be at the same restaurant I'm headed to...
If only the "Farmer needs a wife" reality show had been casting then....

3 comments:

stacy said...

What's the yeshivish word for sh!t?
schreck.

The Babysitter said...

that always happens. Murphy's law or something.

Stam said...


What's the yeshivish word for "Sh!t"?


Let me know if you find out. (and not shreck, it just doesn't cut it anymore ever since the dreamworks production...