Saturday, May 17, 2008

dating a foreigner

So I have this date tomorrow night with this guy suggested to me by a friend.

We've spoken on the phone twice already, and he seems like a great guy.

BUT, here's the thing....

We don't speak the same language.

Now, I know that sometimes, couples manage to overcome the language barrier with L-O-V-E. My co-worker, who knows only very basic Spanish, dated a hot Latino who could barely speak English. I guess speaking wasn’t a major component of their relationship

I should say that my situation isn't as extreme. The guy that I'll be going out with actually does speak a form of English, if it can be called that. He speaks Yeshivish.

As a ModOrth girl with a “Machmir” bent (label courtesy of Frumster), I told my friend that I don’t mind dating guys slightly more frum than myself – which is true.

I guess I just wasn't prepared for the 'name-dropping' Yeshivish-style. You know, when frum guys feel the need to pepper their speech with words like "Be'erech", "yesoid" and well, I wish I remembered more to tell you about. I think some people call this Frumspeak, but I'm frum, and it's not the way I speak...

Should I risk sounding like a goy and ask him to translate? Or should I google some yeshivish words pre-date and start speaking that way too?

Oy! The tzuris.

6 comments:

Maidel said...

someone on facebook asked me whether "gut voch" is too yeshivish for me.

i'd like to think that "gut voch", "shalu shidis", "gut shabbos" are all words that most orthos use on a routine basis.

not too yeshivish at all. but i guess, where do u draw the line?

badforshidduchim said...

I asked a guy to try to stick to English on a date. But he was actually a native speaker who became more yeshivish, so it wasn't too hard for him. I generally understand it, but it drives me bananas.

I don't think you're out of line for asking him to try to speak the native tongue. Explain that you haven't been incubating in yeshiva the last 10 years and your yeshivish is rusty... If you do it in a humorous way, it won't go over badly, but you'll get your point across.

chanie said...

so how was the date???

Alex30 said...

Chanie, you reading my mind...
so how was the date?

whatever you do.. make sure he would encourage you to continune with the blog after getting married!!! too many blogs from frum single girls discontinues after mariage

The Babysitter said...

there's actually a yeshivish dictionary for the yeshivish language, cause even with the guys at yeshivos not all of them no the language so well, so they have to brush up on it. But I'd say it doesn't have to be used on the date, its more like chavrusah talk. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking him to stick to basic english. But then it could be if he's so used to using certain words it will be hard not to slip.

But then there are even some MO guys who used yeshivish words on purpose in a way to make fun of it, like putting up a fake front that you would never know what their truly like.

Stam said...

a) the dictionary: http://www.amazon.com/Frumspeak-Dictionary-Yeshivish-Chaim-Weiser/dp/1568216149

b) this is a very common problem, i have so many friends that couldnt understand a word the guy said. Not just the mamish taakes but their mumbling and speaking too quickly and softly...

c) a yeshiva guy was just "meorrer me something" the other day - i was never meorrer'ed before!