Thursday, October 17, 2013

Should Frum Single Girls Freeze their Eggs?

First off  - huuge Mazel Tov to Halle Berry! No, she's not a yid, but she's gorgeous and just gave birth to her second child, a boy, at the ripe old age of 47. Every news outlet has her saying that this is a "big surprise". I don't know if you could call it that. A surprise pregnancy is when a 16 year old girl doesn't know her boyfriend's condom has a hole in it. A surprise pregnancy is when a woman manages to get preggers even though she's got an IUD, is on the pill and doesn't let her husband touch her. Getting pregnant at 47 is not a surprise - it's a lot of work and money and crazy. But the fact that Halle and a bunch of other female celebs who are past their prime have been getting pregnant has apparently duped a whole generation of American women into thinking that pushing off motherhood is a real option.
Well some of us are not that dumb. The biological clock is a real thing and it slows down after 40.
Apparently, there is a new trend on the UWS and who-knows-where-else for Frum 'Older' Singles to freeze their eggs. Some women who have not yet 'met their beshert' realize that with every birthday their chances at starting a family gets slimmer. 'Older' singles could feel they must come to terms with the fact that they might never get married. Or when they finally do get married, they could encounter a host of health risks and difficulties associated with pregnancy after a certain age. Egg freezing when you still have some good ones could be a viable option for these women. I'm sure it's not an easy decision to make. Financially or emotionally. It means coming to terms with your age and your status as a non-married.
I can't say that I relate (BH), but I really sympathize with these women for making this courageous decision.
But just wondering - what happens when these women come to a point in their life - say at age 42 - when they realize that marriage just may not be in the cards? With modern technology, a woman no longer needs to be married or have a man in her life to get pregnant. Would it be halachically permissible for a frum woman to have a child out of wedlock? Would it be better if she had the sperm 'donated' by a friend vs an anonymous registry? I'm sure someone out there on the webiverse has written about this sensitive topic. I'm just way too tired from my own babes to look it up ;)
(Seriously - with these dark circles under my eyes that even Clinique can't conceal, I'm pretty sure a woman's desire to have a child was also part of Chava's curse)