Sunday, April 18, 2010

if only i could give her a makeover....

Maybe this is just something I do....

But sometimes I'll meet someone...

Or not even meet them... but just see them walking down the street...

And I get this ITCH

To give that person a makeover...

To fix their hair...
Including the kind that grows on their face....

Buy them a new outfit...which is actually the right size, and right for their body proportion,
and right for their gender, and right for this decade...

And if it's a woman, buy her a bra that actually does what gravity doesn't...

And a little mascara and blush and lipgloss to bring out the fact that she is a woman....
If won the lottery tomorrow, I think this is what I would do...
To do my part to help society in some small way....
Have I been watching too much of Stacey London's show? (what not to wear @ 4 and 5 pm on TLC)


aml said...

I know this ITCH all too well. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Ari said...

I think makeovers can make a difference between happiness and marriage.

Data said...

Totally know what you mean, although I don't always like Stacy's taste. I like the guy though. Very sweet.

Weddings are especially hard on me. (She's wearing THAT color? And just to dig her grave even deeper, she's wearing an empire waist? What is up with the hair? No mascara, when she has such gorgeous eyes?)

Anonymous said...

Have you never seen "Wicked" or read the lyrics to the song "Popular"?
Elphie, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project!

you really don't have to do that...

i know, that's what makes me so nice!

whenever i see someone less fortunate than i,
and let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than i?
my tender heart tends to start to bleed.
and when someone needs a makeover,
i simply have to take over!
i know i know exactly what they need!

and even in your case,
though it's the toughest case i've yet to face,
don't worry, i'm determined to succeed!
follow my lead,
and yes indeed, you will be...

POPULAR! you're gonna be popular!
i'll teach you the proper ploys,
when you talk to boys,
little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!
i'll show you what shoes to wear!
how to fix your hair!
everthing that really counts to be...

POPULAR! i'll help you be popular!
you'll hang with the right cohorts,
you'll be good at sports,
know the slang you've got to know.
so let's start,
'cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

don't be offended by my frank analysis,
think of it as personality dialysis,
now that i've chosen to become a
pal, a sister and advisor,
there's nobody wiser!
not when it comes to...

POPULAR! i know about popular.
and with an assist from me,
to be who you'll be,
instead of dreary who you were...uh, are.
there's nothing that can stop you,
from becoming popu-ler... lar...

la la, la la!
we're gonna make you pop-u-lar!

when i see depressing creatures,
with unprepossessing features,
i remind them on their own behalf
to - think - of
celebrated heads of state,
or specially great communicators!
did they have brains or knowledge?
don't make me laugh!

they were POPULAR!
please! it's all about popular.
it's not about aptitude,
it's the way you're viewed,
so it's very shrewd to be,
very very popular like ME!

why, miss Elphaba, look at you. you're beautiful!

i, i have to go...

you're welcome...

and though you protest,
your disinterest,
i know clandestinely,
you're gonna' grin and bear it!
you're new found popularity!

la la, la la!
you'll be popular!
just not quite as popular as ME!

Data said...

The motivation is not popularity. Heck, I was never in the Glinda sphere.

It's aesthetic. One hopes others make an effort to look good, not based on unflattering trends.