Wednesday, February 17, 2010

dating older men

No, I'm not talking about seniors in their 60s.
You may think I'm a golddigger (from this post), but I do have some standards.

Ok, truth is - if someone pulled out the Anna Nicole card and asked you if you'd marry a 90 year-old on his death bed in return for a few million bucks - would you say no?
But since that opportunity hasn't been presented (yet), for the sake of this post, 'old' means over 30.
I know, I'm being ageist.
And I do realize that every year I stay single, I get closer to being 'old' - but ain't no way I'm letting that happen.

A lot of shadchans ask me what my 'age limit' is.

It used to be the '80s rule' - the guy needed to have been born in the same decade as me.
I would get freaked out when I heard that someone was born in the 1970s. (more so it was the thought that someone was already rocking bellbottoms while my parents were still in high school)

Then I moved on to the '10 year rule' - 10 year age difference max.
But after turning 23, I realized that 33 is really just way too mature for me.  (mature is a much better word than old)
I don't know if I can deal with gray hairs and receding hairlines and wondering wtf the guy is doing still single. (this is horrible to think out loud, but sometimes I can't help but wonder what's wrong with the dude)

11 comments:

Jiya James said...

i read one interesting story for dating relationship of men here http://ping.fm/Y1Cay

Rabba bar bar Chana said...

Hadassah Sabo Milner wrote about this a few days ago:

http://hadassahsabo.wordpress.com/2010/02/15/golden-oldies/

G6 said...

How come YOU get to wonder why he's "still around" at 33?
Does HE get to wonder why you're "still around" at 23 :P ?

Mirage said...

When I was 18, a 33 year old guy wanted to go out with me. He didn't have any grey hairs or a receding hairline, but he was definitely too 'mature' for me:-)

alarbean said...

I like the 8 year rule - 5 years younger and 3 years older.
However, that's just a theory. I'm not actually dating atm.

G6 said...

Somewhere I heard the guideline that the maximum age difference should be half the woman's age minus 3.....

Dude with hat (aka BTS) said...

Guideline? It's about what you feel about particular person as if you didn't know his age. Without being too picky so not to miss your baschert.
I have few friends (married) in their early/mid 30-es and they are as cool as if they were 25 and have great personalities.

Anonymous said...

Your right MM, when you hit 30 and become old and fekakta, anyone sub-30 should write you off the list... sorry too old for us 20 yr olds.. Or will you be singing a different tune then. (god forbid you're still single at 30).

So how do you view those single 30 yr old women out there? You have to realistically place yourself 10 years ahead and STILL single to really grasp the reality that it really is a case by case situation.

Anonymous said...

Your right MM, when you hit 30 and become old and fekakta, anyone sub-30 should write you off the list... sorry too old for us 20 yr olds.. Or will you be singing a different tune then. (god forbid you're still single at 30).

So how do you view those single 30 yr old women out there? You have to realistically place yourself 10 years ahead and STILL single to really grasp the reality that it really is a case by case situation.

Maidel said...

lol can I just say that this post does not apply to anyone over 30 who Im friends with?

you gotta admit - men get weird after 35....

Alan Levin said...

Hey, men get wise after 40, it's well known! They get energy in the 30's and then wisdom. I've been a loving loyal husband dedicated to making my wife happy for fifteen years before she chose to go with another. Does that make me weird, maybe, although I think I have much more to offer than I did 15 years ago? News: Mishnah talks of so and so, you're born with more than one Beshert, the first is (theoretically) about love, the second with experience, comes with merit.

Anyways, in my community there are very few frum women so I appreciate you sharing many useful lessons I expect will help me in my global search, I'm hoping to find a Jewish bride that will be with me through this and into the next transmigration.