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Here's a random question for MM readers - please feel free to comment -
Would you turn down a potential girl or guy based on who they're related to?
Supposed the girl/guy of your dreams... or ok.. let's be realistic here... a girl/guy you're considering... happens to have a mother or father from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks?
Would you stay to see how much you can take - or would you make a quick run for it before you're in too deep?
Monday, April 27, 2009
scary in-laws
love, Maidel at 11:24 PM
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7 comments:
Take two:
I married my ex-husband without meeting his parents first. I wish I had. If I had met his parents pre-marriage, I would not have married him. The parents' relationship with one another and how they interacted with their kids explained a lot about him and not in a good way. We got divorced shortly after I met his family.
More often than not how someone acts around their parents and how their parents act in general is a pretty good indication of how the person will be in a relationship. However, this isn't always true. For example, I have almost nothing in common with any of my family so comparing me to them would be unfair to me although it would give any potential future spouse a good idea about my desire to distance myself from my family. :)
I will just come back to haunt you, don't go for it...
If you know ahead of time, stay away! Love does NOT conquer all. Even if you move halfway across the world, that can't stop the influences of (an) inlaw(s) from HE**.
Plus, no matter how devoted, your spouse will not be able to "pick sides" when things get rough.
If they live in another state...can risk it.
If the person is willing to live far away enough from the crazy family and thus not making animosity in your own marriage its fine. But if the family is crazy and the ties refuse to be severed, it is not worth it. The only thing that is worse than over bearing in-laws is a spouse who listens to them.
in laws from heck is relative. they may torture one kid in law, and love another to peices. it often has a lot to do with the relationship they have with their kid.
but your question isnt just in laws from heck. you asked if one would turn down a shidduch based on who they are related to, and i say yes.
if the fatehr/grandfather or other imediate family member went to jail, id say no. (although i know of plenty of ppl who will still say yes, as long as it wasnt a violent crime. embezelement and fraud are ok)
if their is mental illness, like bipolar in the family (parent, greatgrandparent, sibling) id say no.
and if a sibling has a child out of wedlock (no jokes, i know such ppl) i wud say no, becuase i personally think thats indicative of something, dont know what, but thats a little too much drama for my taste.
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