Thursday, January 22, 2009

porn isn't kosher

RandomBochur sent me this link to an interview with Shmuly Boteach on the Dennis Prager Radio Show.
An interesting point of discussion on the show was whether porn ruins relationships.
Random wants some of my female readers to share their thoughts on this question: Would you date a guy who admits to watching porn?

Ok Random - first of all - what guy admits to that? Especially before dating someone!

And in my opinion, if a porn-watcher (there are labels for everything now, right?) was in a relationship, I would consider that cheating! (unless of course, it's out in the open, and it's something you're watching together... maybe to save money on the cost of movie tickets?)

But to date someone who watches porn pre-relationship? Gross!


UPDATE: Random did not mean before dating. While I'm not 100% sure that it would be a dealbreaker if someone I was serious about admitted something like that to me, I would be pretty offended if they didn't stop.

I should clarify that I consider it cheating because it means that someone is going outside of the relationship in order to be sexually gratified.

8 comments:

Shorty said...

oh porn.
I am blessed with a man who isn't interested in porn. I have dated guys who were.
i'm not sure what was worse - them watching, or them wanting me to watch it WITH them. too wierd.
i have always felt that way about porn. its just odd.
i have a friend who had to have a serious "talk" with her husband about his porn "stash" on his computer. It was from before they were married, and she a) considers herself a feminist and doesn't approve as it is and b) they're married now. I'm not sure what became of that.
i have another friend who had to force her husband to delete everything off of his computer. He is a computer guy, so we always kind of wondered whether it was kept in some hidden file.

like the phone "sex" thing, if you have doubt if its ok or not, its probably not a very good thing.

frumsatire said...

Like women not admitting to masturbating men who don't watch porn or look at it are an anomaly. Then again if you are in a relationship you really don't need it.

In all the relationships I have been in I have always thought that looking at porn was considered cheating and I had no need for it anyway.

Oh and any guy who tells you he never looked at porn is a big lier.

Anonymous said...

MM, You're so naive. Every single guy you've ever dated has viewed and will view porn. In every yeshiva and camp I or my friends have been to there was porn. Lots of it.

Porn can be a serious problem, but so can unrealistic demands and expectations. Expect normal and you'll be ok.

Anonymous said...

in this day and age, i think everyone, men and women, have seen even a snippet of porn.

but to be a regular watcher is another story!

Moshe said...

How about hentai? Do you consider that porn?

m00kie said...

no frum guy is going to tell a girl before or while theyre dating. at best he'll test the waters by asking something like :"Would you date a guy who admits to watching porn?" and since the typical girl will respond with something like "gross", he'll probably keep it to himself!
it may eventually come out - but only once theyre married and 'it' isnt gross anymore...

chanie said...

Porn is an issue, but I'd rather he admit and try to solve it than the other option....

Thank G-d, I'm marrying someone who pukes at the sight of it and deleted all his little brother's pictures.

Moshe said...

"Thank G-d"?
Post again after you're married...