Sunday, January 18, 2009

does being a girl mean i have to cry - A LOT?

Have you seen the most recent Brad Pitt movie?
I saw it tonight with some of my girl posse. It felt like one of the longest movies I've ever seen. And I think I cried for almost all 166 minutes of it.
I know I've already mentioned that I have a tendency to cry at sad movies (I hope you read everything on my Meme!)
Somehow any movie that has anything to do with life and death, and especially having to do with getting old, is likely to turn on my tear faucets. And once they're on - it's hard to get my tears to stop.
But maybe because I've been trying to avoid potential cry-fests lately (or maybe it's near that time of month) somehow I feel like I haven't cried as much as I did tonight in a long time. In fact, my eyes are still red and my lips are still puffy even as I write this hours later.
I know what you're thinking...'MM is such a baby'! Yup -maybe that's it.
Maybe it's because I see my grandparents getting older - and even now my parents getting more gray, a little more wrinkles - and it all scares me. It's not a new fear. I remember crying when I was a pre-teen, wishing that I could hang on to my innocence for just a little bit longer. I wish there was a pause button (a rewind button seems to much to ask for) that I could push that would keep life the way it is now for just a little bit longer. I wish I could have a guarantee that everyone I love will always be here with me. And happy. And healthy.
I'm crying again. I better stop!
Is it just because I'm a girl? Am I just overly sensitive? Or is the sad movie music to blame?
One of my besties, Karen, mentioned that she felt weird that she hadn't cried during the movie.
I don't know that I really sympathize with her - she's not the one that had mascara all over her face!


nameless, faceless said...

I'm a girl - wait, checking...yes, still a girl - and I don't really cry very often either. Now, to be fair, I have to admit this may be because I am dead inside, but I'd like to think it's just because I put resolving the troubling issue *before* dealing with emotional ramifications.

That being said, there are certainly times I let a few go, if only to make sure my lacrimals are still functioning properly. You know, like a breast self-exam or a six-month cleaning at the dentist :)

EsPes said...

u sound like ur pmsing! ;-P
i think i cry more than most girls... but i dont cry when ur "supposed" to cry-- ill cry at the most RANDOM things! but i think im also pretty sensitive.

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

It makes a lot of sense to cry like that, its healthy and normal, so long as its not on a constant basis. Sometimes things in life remind us of fears we have that are subconscious, and when we're reminded of it, then it brings the tears.

There was one time when my principal of my elem and HS was niftar. it was when I was in 12th grade. Everyone was crying, and for some reason I couldn't bring myself to cry about it. So then I cried for the fact that it hadn't got me crying when everyone else was.