chassidim and manners don't mix

I was helping out at this wedding dress gemach today (let's hope it's a good segulah! i'll let you know if it works...). A gemach - to that one person who marked 'unaffiliated' in my poll - is where religies (it's my fave expression - a synonym for frummies - and yes I do somewhat kinda include myself in that category) can rent gowns for cheap. Although this one I was at must have been ultra-posh because it costs at least $500/night to borrow one of their used (and only SLIGHTLY stained) dresses. I really shouldn't talk dirt about a gemach though - they do good work, and I'm pretty sure that I've read somewhere in my 'Chofetz Chaim a day' book that lashon harah applies to both juristic and natural persons. And of course, like I said, there's that whole segulah thing...

Ok, technically I've just lied to you. I wasn't really there to help out the gemach - I was really there looking at dresses with a friend (Miri's sister is engaged!!!!). But I guess I didn't look too busy because one of the religies in charge asked me to give them a hand. I actually love helping out -when someone asks for help I think it means Hashem wants to give me a chance to do a mitzvah (seeee I can get beyond the material).

So as part of my good deed of the day, I was 'in charge' of taking the garbage out. I know - it's good to be a VIP. Despite not fully comprehending what a gemach could possibly have to throw out, I happily carried big black bags full of torn veils and who knows what else from the 'store' to the trash cans outside.

Ok - why am I telling you all this? I should get to the point, shouldn't I?

Well, this physically daunting task required me to go down a flight of stairs and through a heavy door to get to my destination - all while carrying the aforementioned cumbersome garbage bags. There was a group of Chassidish women and girls chattering in the front hall blocking the door. I'm pretty sure they noticed me trying to get through (a jean skirt and long hair in this part of town definitely stand out - and then there are those huge bags). But no one moved until I said in a somewhat loud, but nonetheless very polite voice (I've read Emily Post, remember), "Excuse me, can you please MOVE out of the way" - or other words to that effect. And then when they finally parted like the Red Sea (giving me the Boro Park stare like nobody's business), I had to ask for someone to please hold the door open. I remember a few girls looking reluctantly at one another for a good 30 seconds before someone finally came to my aid.

I know that the title of this post is one super-huge generalization. But this isn't the first time I've come across Chassidish people without manners. (maybe I should include the yeshivish crowd too?) Ok - and yes, I've encountered non-religies, and even goyim (ok not a good word to use, but I've been around chassidim all day) who also lack social graces. So maybe it's not JUST a Chassidish thing. But isn't having good manners part of having good middos? And isn't part of being a 'good Frum Jew' trying to have the best middos possible? And I'm pretty sure that holding the door open for other people is like one of the first things you learn in school about good middos... (maybe after helping an old lady cross the street...)