Tuesday, August 19, 2008

kosher chewing gum

hi! how are you? miss me much? i sure missed you......
Like many of my fellow Americans, I enjoy the taste and feel of spearmint-flavored chewing gum. Like many of my fellow kosher Americans, I like to load up on said gum on trips to the Holy Land.
But this year, something different happened. This year, I noticed that the price of Orbit B'Aratz was actually significantly higher than the price marked by my local kosher superstore.
Should I blame it on Shmita? I'm pretty sure that gum doesn't grow on trees. (right?? or is there such thing as a gum tree? too tired for wikipedia)
Should I blame it on the Arabs? Nope, not this year, they've been too busy fighting amongst themselves to bother blowing us up - rolling us over with tractors notwithstanding.
Maybe I'll blame China. We can blame them for global warming and for promoting tyranny, so might as well throw in the raised price of Orbit too. And I wouldn't have to hate anyone new if I could blame China. (I've already boycotted this year's Olympics - I decided not to fly to Beijing).
And while I'm on the subject - why does kosher gum have to be so f-ing awful? In my pre-Seminary days, I chewed whatever was cheapest in the check-out aisle. Besides for jeans, it's one of those things that I reallllllly miss. Buying cheap gum anywhere and everywhere. Why haven't kosher gum companies figured out a way to make their product long-lasting without turning into liquid? (the M&M slogan need not apply)

2 comments:

The Babysitter said...

I've never been into gum, but my mother loves Mint gum. I think she mostly buys the "Must" company gum. I don't think it tastes so bad.

Just btw, in 7th grade my science teacher told us that when you chew gum your stomach starts secreting juices to get ready to chop down the food. But since no food comes down, the juices eat up at the lining of your stomach. It can cause a hole in your stomach, an ulcer.

Ever since I heard that, I tried not to have gum so much.

Lion of Zion said...

"Why haven't kosher gum companies figured out a way to make their product long-lasting without turning into liquid?"

because they know that dumb jews think it's a mitzva to pay double for inferior-quality products.

personally i don't care about gum. my issue is with the jewish ice cream
jewish ice cream