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my devoted reader, frum single female (i guess she's not keeping her maiden name when she gets married - although its slightly better than "talula does the hula in hawaii") made a comment on a recent post about how she sees women at the gym wearing tichels and tank tops.
I've noticed a new trend where women cover their hair but show their cleavage. While i would never judge anyone based on the way they dress (ok, maybe i judge, but it's a middah I'm working on........ slowly......) I'm pretty sure that something about that combination is a little whack.
OK, granted, sometimes it's hard to keep everything perfectly covered 100% of the time - a high neck can be stifling and it isn't easy finding shirts that aren't too low-cut, and it can be damn difficult to cover up the abundance that which Hashem gave some of us plenty. (i'm trying to be allegorical, I'm not sure I've succeeded.)
But I guess I just expect more from a woman who has chosen to cover her hair. Maybe I shouldn't expect anything of anyone but myself.
And another trend - women who 'kinda' cover their hair. I'm talking about women who keep you on your toes about what they will wear next - a Sheitel to a frummy wedding, a Fall in Flatbush, just a baseball cap or a bandanna everywhere else. I wonder if I'm going to be like that one day.... (or will I have more principles?)
16 comments:
I grew up in a modern orthodox house (please note that I refer to the modern orthodoxy of the 60s & 70s which is far different from the current modern orthodoxy) and I found it strange (albeit later on) that my parents would go to the beach and my mother would cover her hair and wear a bathing suite (or a swim shirt). However, it was a different era. I am not sure, strange though it may seem, if everyone makes the connection between covering ones hair and basic tznius. Covering the hair is something that woman "need to do", however low cut shirts and short skirts are OK.
Covering hair and tznius are not necessarily connected in many peoples minds. Covering hair is a way of showing marital status, because in the modern frum world being married is the cool thing to do. Being tznius, on the other hand is never cool. :-)
But as far as the 2nd half of the post is concerned, I don't get the problem, there's nothing wrong with dressing for different places and events differently, that goes for clothes and also for hair styles and hair coverings. Is it considered not having principles if I wear a jean skirt to go to the grocery store but not to shul on shabbos?
maybe i should have clarified, anon #2.
the second half of my post is about women who will fully cover their hair in certain places, and then barely cover their hair elsewhere. (eg women who wear baseball caps but their own hair sticks out in a ponytail or women who wear their own hair down with just a little bandanna covering the top of their head)
I'm all for it, as long as its a pretty tichel
anon 2 here:
assuming someone feels they only need to cover part of their hair, based on their understanding of the halacha, so most of the time they wear a baseball cap or bandana with hair sticking out, but when they want to get dressed up for a wedding they wear a sheitel, I doubt they are trying to fool people into thinking they are frumer than they really are, just sheitels are nicer than bandanas, so for a fancy occasion its more suitable. I think there might be a problem with the opposite case, someone who claims they always cover all their hair, and around where they live wear a sheitel everyday, but when they go away on vacation they suddenly wear a baseball cap with hair sticking out.
About sheitels at weddings, falls in Flatbush etc. Maybe they are just being considerate of other frummies. When I go to a chassidesh wedding, I make more of an effort to be more low-key, even if I am "perfectly" tznius.
Covering your hair when you are married is a much stricter dictate of tznius, clearly outlined in halacha, while tnius dress has only been clearly defined in the last 50 years (elbows, hemlines etc.) Also the punishment for uncovering your hair is REALLY bad.
Are you sure that all of these folks who cover their hair are actually Jewish, let alone frum? Some people wear scarves on their heads in the summer to keep out the sun, just as some wear baseball caps to do that. So if a non-Jewish woman is wearing a head-covering on some sort on a sunny day, why not throw on a tank top and shorts, if keeping warm is the only consideration?
I just encountered a combination like that...
She covered her hair but wore a sleeveless verrrry low cut shirt..
what the heck?
btw. I love the design of your blog...
Da Wife commented on that weird thing regarding women who cover their hair while working out.
Methinks that is has to do with the fact that these women are used to covering their hair all day, all the time. So even when they work out etc, they still cover their hair.
hum. I wear a bandana at the gym (and beach/pool or when gardening), a fall to work, and a scarf or hat the rest of the time. The thing I hate to see is a woman at the gym on some of the equipment in long flowing skirts- an accident waiting to happen I think. If your going to coed hours, then you've got to still wear the baggy sweatpants. If that makes you uncomfortable, go to the ladies only hours or workout at home.
This is the first time I've seen your blog. I like it. You're a little sassy and funny.
I know someone who works in a court house and she said the other ladies there decided to copy her and wear a wig even though they weren't Jewish. So that can happen.
But then again when people work out at the gym, they feel that because they will get very hot they want the least amount of clothes covering them. With a teichel, it doesn't interfere as much.
About wearing different things at different places, that means the person is considerate for the people at their location. It says "al tifrosh min hatzibor" so when they go to Williamsburg they will be the most modest they can, but when their in their comfort zone they might show their true self and lack a bit of tznius.
I think that we should not judge others. WE do not know their relationship with Hashem or their husbands. Secondly, I feel that wigs are stylish and may not be the most jewish thing and modest a women who is trying to avoid contact with men not being her husband is defeating the purpose of "head covering". Men look at wigs today like they do extentions and weaves and do not know you are being jewish because you have a wig on. So the same way people do not understand why you may wear a wig, you should understand why people wear different types of headcoverings for different locations and purposes. This does not mean they are wrong and you are right. They may study and worship HaShem more than you. I like the blogs but this one seems judgmental and we are to uplift our community of believers and try to encourage each other instead of what seems to me almost lashon hara and gossip about women who dress or do something that you do not do. At the same time I do see your point so dont get me wrong, but in today's society and being that most Jews are not in the holy land, it is up to each family and community to interpret the laws, this is why we have different sects of Judaism, every different sects within chabad, some rabbi say this others say that, etc. The women with a headcovering is doing what HaShem said, cover your hair, we do it for our husbands. Now showing arms and feet or wearing pants or shorts is left up to rabbinical teachings, not actually words from HASHEM. AT least the woman is covering her head for respect. My husband likes when I look nice. I look nice with my head covered with my pants on and I workout in a gym with my headcovered in my workout clothes. ITs just plain silly to wear a long skirt on a treadmill. You trying to kill yourselves! Like the last post said if you are worried about people looking go to a women's only gym. Let's focus on studying Torah, raising our families and loving each other. There are more things to do than talk about what someone is wearing, OMG she has a headcovering and a tank top! Like I'm sure HaShem is writing that one down. Lets teach Torah instead.
I think that we should not judge others. WE do not know their relationship with Hashem or their husbands. Secondly, I feel that wigs are stylish and may not be the most jewish thing and modest a women who is trying to avoid contact with men not being her husband is defeating the purpose of "head covering". Men look at wigs today like they do extentions and weaves and do not know you are being jewish because you have a wig on. So the same way people do not understand why you may wear a wig, you should understand why people wear different types of headcoverings for different locations and purposes. This does not mean they are wrong and you are right. They may study and worship HaShem more than you. I like the blogs but this one seems judgmental and we are to uplift our community of believers and try to encourage each other instead of what seems to me almost lashon hara and gossip about women who dress or do something that you do not do. At the same time I do see your point so dont get me wrong, but in today's society and being that most Jews are not in the holy land, it is up to each family and community to interpret the laws, this is why we have different sects of Judaism, every different sects within chabad, some rabbi say this others say that, etc. The women with a headcovering is doing what HaShem said, cover your hair, we do it for our husbands. Now showing arms and feet or wearing pants or shorts is left up to rabbinical teachings, not actually words from HASHEM. AT least the woman is covering her head for respect. My husband likes when I look nice. I look nice with my head covered with my pants on and I workout in a gym with my headcovered in my workout clothes. ITs just plain silly to wear a long skirt on a treadmill. You trying to kill yourselves! Like the last post said if you are worried about people looking go to a women's only gym. Let's focus on studying Torah, raising our families and loving each other. There are more things to do than talk about what someone is wearing, OMG she has a headcovering and a tank top! Like I'm sure HaShem is writing that one down. Lets teach Torah instead.
Why do you all say "HaShem" ? Does not our Creator have a name? He does, and it is not wrong to call upon His Name YHWH, according to the Scriptures, which should be our final authority for Truth, not a man made book or tradition.
1. The NAME of HASHEM can only ever be used IN TEFILA, in prayer. It is extremely holy.
It must NEVER ever be pronounced in casual conversation.
We are commanded to fear and respect the NAME OF HASHEM, our G-d, with the utmost awe - at all times.
2. This is the THIRD COMMANDMENT of the Asseret Hadibrot.
The breaking of the THIRD COMMANDMENT is UNFORGIVABLE – “LO YENAKEH” :
“You shall not take the NAME of HASHEM, your G-d, in vain, for HASHEM will not absolve anyone who takes His NAME in vain.” (Yitro - 20:7)
Any desecration of the NAME of HASHEM is extremely severe, and is a Chillul Hashem. There is NO forgiveness for this sin.
I see this more than I'd like to.. women I know are Jewish wearing tichel and then wearing a low t-shirt or something similar. I've also seen a woman wearing tichel, a tank top and short shorts :\
I know that tznius is sometimes difficult to obey, but it isn't that hard :\
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