Tznius complications

To wear short sleeves? Or to not wear short sleeves?

That is the question plaguing me this summer.

Now, although I grew up in your average ModOrth family (growing up, I should say - I still live with the 'rents!), I also grew up wearing pants, shorts, tank tops and even low-cut shirts (I know.... I better not put that in my shidduch resumé).

So when I decided to flip out during my year in Israel, not only were my parents shocked and appalled, but I also shockingly and appallingly began to tznius-ify my wardrobe.

Have you ever seen What Not to Wear on TLC? You know how the first part of the show is all about the hosts throwing out the fashion-disaster-of-the-day's fashion disasters? And you know how the second part is where they turn the fashion disaster into a fashion diva with a whole closet full of trendy clothes?

Let's just say that my own closet makeover had the first part but skipped the second. It was BARE. (but now, I wasn't!)

I remember hopping off the plane in the summer and making my mom take me to the nearest department store to look for clothes that my seminary Rabbis would be proud of. What I didn't expect was how hard shopping would now be!

If you're a guy reading this, please stop here. This will bore you. Actually, I'm sure you read the first sentence of my blog and went to bed.

Girls - you know what I'm talking about, right?

You go into a cute, new store you've just discovered.... only to find that they're all about capris and halter tops. The only three-quarter-length top in the entire store has a scooped back or a scooped front, and although you could probably pull it off wearing a tank top underneath it, who really wants to sweat under all that fabric in the summer??

I think as the years have passed I've become pretty good at skipping past the skimpy racks and heading for the skirts at my favorite stores. But just the other day, there I was, at the mall, looking at this gorgeous silk designer top that had just been marked down from over a hundred to more than half off. But, da da da dum, it was short-sleeved!

I actually had a conversation with myself at that moment (those convos are the best I ever have) where I asked myself whether or not I should continue my "say no to elbows" style or maybe change course and embrace the knees and elbows - you know, show off what I've got. (I realize that we all have elbows and knees, but pre-flip out, I really liked mine).

Then it got me thinking - what did my ancestors do?

Did frum Jews even exist in Miami, LA, or Phoenix in the pre-air conditioning era? What about when the Tribes had to walk around the dessert for 40 years? Did those clouds come with a/c or did the Jews maybe have a reason to complain all those times they did?

Then..... I remembered being at a bus stop in Bnai Braq during the month of August, waiting next to a young Chassidish guy (sorry girls, I dont know if he was single - those guys dont wear wedding rings!). It was pre-flip out. I was wearing a skirt, but it was short, and so were my sleeves, bare legs, flip flops. He was wearing the usual Chassidish guy garb, a heavy wool coat, heavy wool hat, knee-high socks, probably his entire wardrobe all at once. I was sweating, he was as cool as cucumber.

It was pretty much a pivotal moment for me, where I realized that being tznius isn't totally ridiculous, and for those who keep it, Hashem makes it worthwhile. That's because tznius isn't as much about the outside as it is the inside. Tznius is about letting other people see a reflection of who you really are as a person, as a Jew, as a special and holy individual. And that's why I decided to put down the cute silk designer top and move on to the winter sales rack.

Tznius is important, but, it can definitely make a frustrating shopping experience!

PS - my apologies to Hashem that we're a nation of complainers, and that I probably contribute to about 75% of all our complaining - I know that there are wars going on and people starving in the world, and that my issues are pretty frivolous in comparison. But, "she'asani kirtzono", right?