Tuesday, May 20, 2008

is commitment a turn-on?

Ok, I know I'm not the only one guilty of this. Who doesn't check out the OnlySimchas wedding galleries from time to time? Sometimes I use the excuse that I'm looking for people I know, when in fact all I really want to do is check out strangers' pictures. It's almost the same guilty pleasure as reading In Touch or Star or watching a reality show where you get to peek into and comment on other people's lives. Voyeurism is fun!

My friend Shaindy made a comment about the fact that the guys on OnlySimchas are often a lot better looking than the ones on Frumster. I can't help but agree. But, is it true, as my mom often says, that the good ones get grabbed first? (she got married at 19!)

As usual, I started thinking... what if I bumped into one of the engaged/newly-married guys on the street? Would I think of any of these guys as crush-worthy as I do seeing them next to their ball&chain? Does being taken make someone more attractive?

I wish I could take the credit for originality here, but this is an age-old question.

What makes a committed guy more attractive to a single girl?

It's as though a guy's stock shoots up 10 points because they suddenly have another girl interested in them. If you cropped the girl out of the picture (not so hard to do when they're standing three feet away from one another in a shomer, 'on the telephone' pose), often those fantastic guys just turn into average joes. But for some reason, knowing another girl is in the picture is enough to make me want to crop her out - indefinitely!
Maybe I need to develop a new frame of mind to meetings guys. Instead of trying to decide whether a guy would be good for me - which is often a pretty confusing task - I'm going to ask myself whether I would be jealous if the guy was with someone else!
I wonder if guys feel the same way.... Should I tell people I'm in a relationship to get set up on more dates? Ok, gotta go girls & boys! Gotta change my Facebook status!


Anonymous said...

I dont know if changing ur facebook status will make guys suddenly become more attracted to you, but what i do know is as soon as a guy knows ur lying and doing it as a marketing ploy, ur stock will definitely take a plunge. Acts that seem desperate are highly unattractive to men.

chanie said...

well, its a catch 22,because while I agree with anon above, guys also like what they cant have.

whats a girl to do?

Anonymous said...

Dont risk it. The chances its gonna backfire on u and make u seem like a desperate psycho-girl outweighs the slight chance it will generate enough attraction to the point it will compel him to ask u out.
Im telling u this as a guy. Personally when i hear a girl is taken, i dismiss her from my mind and think of other girls.
The wanting-what-u-cant-have phenomenon is way more of a significant part of the female psyche than a man's.
So then what's a girl to do... truth is i never thought about it, maybe ill come up with something and get back to u, lol.

-"anon above"

Alex30 said...

dear maidel, for me it wouldnt work! for me "its complicated" means you are not happy... want to cheat on someone else.. etc. if you want to find a guy write it in bold letter! Single and looking for a guy, send your CV and photo!. you can always post a photo of you on facebook...

Anonymous said...

Also, who will u actually be able to fool - anyone who looks at ur profile can also view your blog, and read that its not true.

The Babysitter said...

I actually signed up for the feed of only simchas engagements, so for me its only to see if people I know are getting engaged, then after I recognize a name I'll go to the page to look at the pictures to see if its actually them.

But it makes sense that you feel that way, there is something to the jealousy factor. That shows their wanted by someone else so it makes them want worthy. Or the fact that their taken it becomes like forbidden fruit.

I agree with anonymous though.