Monday, February 2, 2009

does size really matter?

I'm talking about diamonds - obviously!
Another friend got engaged this week! (Mazel tov Sara!) And she has a stunnning ring! (we both know who picked it out!)
Boys, if you're gonna insist on picking the ring out yourself (which I must say, is kinda like the cherry on the cookie dough ice cream cake if you've already got it when you're about to propose), here are some tips:
- do not ask your mother for advice. Unless your mother has extraordinary taste, what girl wants to be reminded of her shvigger every time she looks down at her hand? (I just learned yesterday that people actually still use that word - I always thought it was kind of derogatory, but I guess that just means lots of women love their m-in-laws!)
- do ask your future intended's best friend for advice. Because, I'm about to let you in on a pretty badly kept secret about women. We know exactly what we want in a diamond. Well maybe, not exactly, but we've all picked out potential dream rings on adiamondisforever.com and e-mailed it to our besties for future keeping for a moment like this.
- size does matter - but not in the way you think. I may have already mentioned that I'm waiting for my cushion cut 5 carat (ok, JacobDaJew, if even Jessica Simpson only got a 4 carat, then you know I'm being sarcastic), but most girls couldn't care less about the 4 C's (which you should know stands for carat, clarity, color, and cut -just in case you don't want to look stupid in front of the jeweler). Most girls just want something big and sparkly (use the 'jealous neighbor test' - if you can see it from across the street, you know you've got a keeper).

I've actually surveyed my friends when it comes to this (you can't deny science), and I've found that it's pretty much across the board that girls would rather something big and flawed (even a cubic zirconia) than a diamond that is perfect but microscopic (yup, girls are superficial about rings- big surprise). One friend did say that she didn't really care about the ring - as long as she got a big house.

Alright, obviously the ring is not the most important thing when a couple is about to embark on their new life together. Lubavs don't even get rings before the chuppah! (in which case, same tips apply for the engagement necklace!) But remember boys, a diamond is forever, so it's gotta look good for at least the 50 odd years that you're going to be spending with your future bride.

17 comments:

Yehuda said...

MM, I'm enjoying your blog, but need to patronize you for this post. :-)

Spending a lot on a diamond ring is simply a horrid idea, for several reasons:

1) As is fairly well known now, diamonds are mined by oppressed workers in horrible conditions. Supporting the diamond industry is highly problematic.

2) There are many things a new couple needs to start a new life: marital advice, useful goods, connections, income, happiness, a little luxury. Spending a large amount of a young couple's initial income on an expensive ring is often disastrous to all of the above.

3) Diamonds are not a sign of love, fidelity, or anything else; this notion was invented in the 1930's by the diamond companies.

4) It's certainly not a Jewish concept, anyway, any more then flowers at a funeral.

5) The money used on the diamond could be invested and worth 100 times its value after 20 to 30 years.

6) They don't even really look nice, objectively. Certainly less to then dozens of other fancy stones and metals. You can't wear them in the daytime, and they inspire vanity and ostentation.

I didn't buy my wife a diamond when I got married, but I bought her some nice earrings, and I continue to buy her presents throughout our married life. It's the love that matters.

Yehuda

Maidel said...

reread the part about the cubic zirconia. it's the sparkle that counts!

Yehuda said...

Material is your first name, I guess.

Yehuda

Anonymous said...

If you haven't worked to save the money for the ring yourself but are just getting the money from parents or grandparants, then skip it -- it has no meaning. If you have actually worked and saved, then have a heart to heart and decide as a couple if the money could better be used for a down payment on a house, starting a retirement fund, etc.

David said...

Also, a big diamond is better because it leaves a bigger mark when she back-hands her husband for being late with the dinner...

Ronen Levi Yitzhcak Segal said...

I don't know what part of "shav'e' prutah" is constantly being mistranslated. But how about you take the money you were going to spend on your ring - spend only a $100 on a band and give the rest to tzedaka.

It might seem crazy now, but after 120 years, when you are being judged, things will make perfect sense.

And David - wow. I don't remember the last time I had to stop myself from laughing at a joke. Thank you for that, I think...

Anonymous said...

I'm a girl but i always give guys this advice: about a week before you're gonna propose, have a movie night and watch blood diamonds. don't say anything at the time about rings or engagements or anything like that, just enjoy the movie. the girl will probably cry if she has a heart. then when you propose say, i didn't get you a diamond because i saw how much the movie blood diamonds touched you and i know you wouldn't want me to support the murder of children in Africa. smooth eh?

jude said...

more like evil!

not all diamonds are that 'bloody'...

nameless, faceless said...

The best part of my engagement BY FAR was the ring. In fact, I'll take a pic and post it on my blog. 3.5 carat flawless emerald cut.

Sexy as hell, a gift from my grandmother. I still have it, but I can't bring myself to wear it, nor do I know what I want to do with it....

Mike said...

Gimme a break. Maybe people here want to re-wire women? Women like to get a diamond (looking) ring. Finished. If you're a guy and you don't like it, tough luck, maybe stay single. If you're a woman, tell your Chossen so he can save some money. Of course if he's smart he'll know you're .... ummm, full of it, and buy you a ring none the same!

Sally Hazel said...

Loved this post!
And I think very few women, esp younger women, would rather start a retirement plan than get a good looking ring.
When one socializes with friends and neighbors, I think one would rather flash the ring than have the knowledge that she has a retirement plan that keeps growing and growing and growing...

Ariella said...

Ah, the engagement ring. One of the best parts of getting engaged. When my chosson (now husband) opened the ring box for me at our vort - even though I had picked out the shape and band and everything - I actually GASPED and my hands flew to my mouth. Like in the movies! I still get tingles when I think about it.

And I did say that I would rather have a bigger, flawed diamond than a smaller, perfect diamond, but in retrospect, for what I wanted, smaller more perfect diamond made all the difference.

Asscher cut, 1.2 carats, F flawless, solitary setting. It's gorgeous and I love it every single day. :)

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

I didn't know girls discuss these things with their friends. I never looked at a diamond ring, to see which one I would like. My friend knew which ring she wanted, and she got it.

I never liked big Jewelry, I like smaller and neater better.

Anonymous said...

lol you can't say Jewelry without saying Jew.
I think you people should relax and think about the role of Jewish woman in the Orthodox society. Everybody would agree that the chuppa is the 15 minutes of fame for every girl, it's her time to shine, and it makes total sense to make her happy by giving her a beautiful/big/well-cut/whatveer she likes diamond.

Yehuda said...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001G603AE?ie=UTF8&tag=1230f6-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B001G603AE

Read the comments.

frumskeptic said...

My fiance picked out the ring himself, and had his mom there for advice!

I LOVE it :-)

LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT :)
Its even better than what I 'implied' I wanted.

Oh...and I cared about the 4 C's.

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

Frum Skeptic: I'm glad your happy with your ring! :-)

Are you gonna post a pic of it on Facebook?