Friday, January 9, 2009

the yichud room

First of all - sheitel-tip to FrumSatire for taking me out of writer's block with this one...

I remember when I first heard about the Yichud Room. I was about 12 years old, and one of my friends had heard about it from someone she knew, who heard about it from their older sister's best friend, or so the story goes. We were at that age where sex and bodies were like part of this mysterious secret that came with growing up. Another friend had this "What's happening to my body" book with a chart that showed the progression of male and female bodies during puberty - which was obviously a hit among us prepubescents (did I mention that those were naked bodies). We knew what sex was, but didn't necessarily know all the mechanics involved. We also knew that it was something that happened between two people after their wedding (we were very good little girls).

And so naturally, when one of our crew came back with tales of the Yichud Room - the place where the bride and groom are left together for the first time - we naturally assumed that this was THE figurative chamber of secrets. We assumed that 'being together' in the Yichud Room was our parents' way of saying that this was where the magic happens (you do watch Cribs don't you?).

Over the years, I finally realized that the Yichud Room is in fact NOT where a young couple does the deed. For one - who would want their first time to be that quick? And secondly - there are pictures to take! People to dance with! Food to eat! (especially if you didn't think ahead and plan your wedding on a Rosh Chodesh)

But, in the words of FrumSatire, "am I the only one who wonders whats goin on in the Yichud rooms"?.

13 comments:

NotaGeek! said...

I remember those theories back in yeshiva, it brings back a lot of memories of how innocent we used to be..

But's it's kinda funny how it's quite the opposite, that the yichud room has nothing to with the deed, but it is sorta like a prep for the deed in some ways.

frumpunk said...

For most people its just a time to talk and eat before the madness. For some though "if the yichud rooms a-rocking, don't come a-knocking".

ysh said...

It's not all that interesting. You grab a bite, talk about how what's happened so far is so amazing, complain about things the caterer/florist/etc messed up, smile, hug, and go out for pictures...

SuperRaizy said...

It would be very difficult to have sex in the yichud room. Think about how long it takes for a bride to get dressed (putting on stockings without ripping them, buttoning ALL THOSE BUTTONS on the wedding dress.) It would take too long to get undressed and then re-dressed. Besides, the groom's drunk friends usually start banging on the door after 3 or 4 minutes.

Pinny said...

Since a virgin's "first time" makes her tamei and requires them to start keeping the harchakos until she goes to mikvah (at least a week and a half later), why in heaven's name would they want to "do it" right before the main part of their wedding?

The yichud room is for your first kiss & hug [first, if you kept the rules of engagement (and dating)] as well as a time to break your fast and talk a little (very little!) and to take a private moment to enjoy the realization that you're *REALLY* married!!!

Anonymous said...

The yichud room should have been my first clue that my marriage was a big mistake. I wanted him to kiss me and all he wanted to do was eat. C'mon, dude, priorities!

Anonymous said...

My wife didn't want to ruin her lipstick and kiss me in the yichud room, but I loved her enough to wait until later and almost 10 years later I still laugh at her about it.

Maidel said...

i love all of these stories!!!!!

frumpunk - how do u know if a yichud rooms a-rocking?

frumsatire said...

I thought thats why the wedding dress was white- so theres no lewinsky fiasco

Moshe said...

A wedding dress usually has 20+ small buttons...and then there's all the metal in the hair...
I hate whoever did my wife's hair. Could've opened up a hair salon with all the crap that was there.

Eating's the only thing you have time for in yichud room.

Maidel said...

i hate metal in the hair too!

Anonymous said...

Question -- I am going to a Satmar wedding in Kiryas Joel. We were told that the yichud will be for two hours!! Any thoughts what could take that long?? That's certainly enough time to consummate, "snuggle," eat a three course meal and take pictures. What are they really doing for two hours???

chanie said...

Most people hold hands, and maybe hug, lol.

Remember- you've never touched. Just a hug would be more than enough at that moment.