Monday, November 17, 2008

i hate tights

Tights are the bane of my existence. Call them hose, pantyhose, nylons, stockings, whatever you like. I hate them all.
As a Frum girl who only wears skirts, tights are a necessity in the winter. But why oh why do they have to be so d*mned uncomfortable??
I remember making my mother crazy in elementary school, going through dozens of tights each morning. Some were too scratchy, some too tight, some too loose, some too twisted. Just like they are today.
I got smart later on and stuck to wearing leggings under my uniform. They weren't as in style then as they are now, but it sure beat having to keep your legs shaved!
But then post-high school, when I started saying goodbye to jeans (which by the way are the greatest invention of the 20th century - they look great with everything!), I couldn't wear leggings any more. For one, they weren't in style, and secondly, it's a hard look to pull off if no one else in your school is doing it.
So I started wearing tights.
For a second in seminary, when I was on the verge of a brainwash, I actually thought about whether I wanted to go reallly shtark - you know, wear pantyhose in the summer. But then I thought again, and my dreams to be a good Bais Yacov girl when down the drain.
So instead I settled on being me. A girl who refuses to wear any type of pantyhose unless the weather requires it.
If it's warm out - my legs are bare. I don't care if I'm going to work or going to a yeshivish wedding. What's the point of pantyhose that's the same color as my skin? It's not like there's some kind of Frummie Force that checks out every girls' legs... (or is there? if there is, let's hope they're women - actually.... maybe not) I'm definitely not going to wear hose for the sake of wearing them.
So when fall comes around, I finally give in. I wear those thick black DKNY tights that actually do keep me warm. Isn't that what they're for?
Sometimes I'll buy other brands - you know, whatever is on sale (tights are the one thing that you should never buy full price if you can avoid it - because no matter how much you paid, they WILL tear). But then when I do buy other brands, that's when I go nuts. One pair will fit, another will not. But because tights rarely have labels - I can never tell which brands are worth buying again and which are not.
The worst is when your tights go crazy while you're wearing them out. They roll up or roll down, get twisted - and when you're wearing a dress, it ain't easy to fix.
Some girl friends and I were walking home one winter's Shabbos with one of our newly-married friends + her new hubby. New Hubby+Bride were walking slightly ahead when one friend whispers to the rest of us "My tights are falling!". The zipper on her coat had gotten stuck so she couldn't reach her waist to pull them up. So there was nothing she could do to keep them from falling down. "She twisted her ankle," we told the new couple, "Don't worry about us, we'll walk slowly with her, you two go ahead". The New Hubby seemed really concerned. We finally persuaded him+new wife to go ahead and not wait.
But then when my friend looked down, her tights were at her ankles!

18 comments:

Leora said...

I despise pantyhose. Can't wear them for more than a minute, and then I have to rip them off my body.

I finally found a material in a long john that comes in black that I feel comfortable wearing. But the company only made them one year, so I only own one pair. I buy expensive high cotton organic tights, which I'll wear for a few hours and then be happy to pull off my body.

So is there a Frummie Force checking out what I wear on my legs? They haven't said anything yet.

NotaGeek! said...

One thing I agree on is if you're wearing Nude colored tights might as well not wear them. Since their isn't much of a difference.
Just a boys point of view, or maybe I should stay out of this.

G6 said...

I'm with you regarding the DKNY - all the way!
Actually, that's the only brand I'll wear - even if I DO have to pay full price!!!!
They are soft, comfortable, and DO NOT run as fast as the other brands.

frumskeptic said...

I haaaate tights. O man.
First thing I do when i get home...change into a nice awesome pair of sweatpants!!

EsPes said...

i actually dont even mind tights!
but usually if im wearing boots, then ill wear leggings under.

i also hate how tights dont have labels! ill have an awesome pair, but cant buy it again cuz i have no idea where i got it from!

Maidel said...

frumskeptic - im with on the sweatpants! my hot pink american apparel sweatpants are the best after a long day in tights!


anyone else have issues with patterned tights?? i can never seem to get the patterns to stay in line!

Maidel said...

lol and notageek - the boys pov is much appreciated!

EsPes said...

i love patterned tights! theyre so cute

stam[azoid] said...

lol i LOVE DKNY tights for the winter - they stay tight on your legs, and dont slip down all day (control top at least) - i got rid of all my other tights, thankfully during the nordstrom 1/2 yearly sale last week i got them for $7.25ish EACH, thats half price!

Maidel said...

let me know when that sale is!

Frum Librarian said...

I HATE HATE HATE tights tooo! I have perfected my winter wardrobe so that I usually end up wearing them about once a month. DUring the week I wear fuzzy boots, usually with nothing underneath but socks and if it's FREEZING I put on leggings. Shabbos I wear nicer boots, same story. If I can't wear boots on Shabbos, then I force myself to put on tights. Blech!

stam[azoid] said...

it already was, last week. its every "half a year" ;)

Tanya said...

LMAO!! You're story walking home in the winter...hysterical and sadly quite true, has happened too many times to count! Or when they bunch up and you're out in public and can't do anything about the bulking at your waistline.
The worst is when I'm at work and I feel a run starting and have to make sure to move the bare minimum the rest of the day so my run doesn't spread!!!

frumskeptic said...

tanya- the best thing for a run, is nail polish!!

I try to always keep the clear nailpolish with me!!

On shabbos its a problem, but at work, or at a wedding...it can be a lifesaver!!

The Babysitter said...

We had to wear tights in school, in 7th and 8th grade I didn't listen and wore knee socks, then in HS I listened and wore tights. I got used to it, and don't think it's so bad. But I definitely prefer short socks, which is why I like wearing long skirts.

When I come home I right away take off my skirt and tights, and put on PJ pants.

But I never went out somewhere without anything on my feet, if I was wearing a short skirt.

I've never tried out pattered tights.

I've heard about the clear nail polish for runs before.

frumhouse said...

I can't stand tights either. I have had them fall down more times than I can count! Pretty embarrassing!

Oringina said...

I'm the opposite, i just love the things. Don't remember the last time i didn't wear them or wore a pair of trousers saying that !!!!

Earl Fellaminga said...

I think you should blame on your body shape before you blaming on tights. If you lucky to have a perfect shape for the tights, you shouldn't feel disgusted by it, you are just simply disgusted by your look on yourself in tights.

That is why ladies with age in their late 20 tights don't look great. The perfect shape for the tights will be their overall structures are not too skinny but little meat in their legs, length of legs are of course not too long but it is reasonably stretched down from toe to waist

If your pelvis is too big, and your ankle and feet then you really need to stay away from tights

Also you need to have feet size of 6.5 or less than 7.5 and toe doesn't look like scary tree branches(rounded shape every toes are grown in a balanced way) and you should look fine wearing them. Just have a loot at yourself thoroughly whether I have a that shape get along with tights or not

Last thing you need to know about this is the shape of your face comes important role that is the wearer suppose to have small rounded face in order to look pretty in those, but if you have a big elongated face with sunken cheek, you should go with wearing pair of socks instead.

if you don’t look great on wearing tights that doesn’t mean you are ugly or out of shape. It just different body shape that looks ok with pair of tights. But when you look around, sometimes you will see some ladies with big figure especially around their pelvis area and as well as their ankle to thighs. It just don’t look alright. you could imaging that you put those leggings on chicken, now how does it look?

Well If you still think you have a good body shape, then my suggestion will be: if your legs are too skinny, you can wear patterned tights and avoid plain colored tights and also cotton tights will help you to make your shape little bit rounded instead of wearing thin tights because it tends to extenuate contours of your bones bigger. And you need to avoid reinforced toe product because it doesn’t look great on a too skinny legs.

If you have some meats on your legs and considered to be voluptuous shape. You should only wear plain colored tights and avoid patterned tights at all costs as it makes your shape look like bigger, and you can get away with thin tights, but you need to find one product that is well stretchable and doesn’t lose flexibility that way it sticks to your skin on legs and works as good foundation.

If you know you are oversized and suffering obese, you shall not seek for wearing either leggings or tights, because it just looks awful. Just keep working out until you get to the shape that get along with tights or stick to pair of socks