tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post9090020047970731934..comments2023-10-11T22:45:32.049-04:00Comments on material maidel: are charedi girls raped?Maidelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11342989598403517433noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-23335280430130149942008-11-12T04:15:00.000-05:002008-11-12T04:15:00.000-05:00Someone I knew who left that life eplained that he...Someone I knew who left that life eplained that he had me his wife only once besides the chuppah and wouldn't have recognized her on the street. He knew nothing.<BR/>After the wedding, a rabbi/doctor/instructor came over to their apartment and told him what if was about. The wife had been told a couple of days before. They were given some valium to relax.Batyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11246929075812590204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-42453743923765274812008-11-10T22:53:00.000-05:002008-11-10T22:53:00.000-05:00There's this documentary called Leaving the Fold (...There's this documentary called Leaving the Fold (http://www.leavingthefold.net/) which follows several young people who grew up religious but left orthodoxy. <BR/><BR/>There is one Charedi guy who describes his first sexual relationship as a rape, as much for him as for his new bride.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-10049558942108569962008-11-10T17:40:00.000-05:002008-11-10T17:40:00.000-05:00After my charedi friend in Brooklyn got engaged, s...After my charedi friend in Brooklyn got engaged, she shared the following: <BR/><BR/>She and her <I>chatan</I> had met a few times, always surrounded by other family members. When it was time to go to city hall to get the city wedding license, her (extremely <I>frum, Chassidishe</I> father) encouraged her to pack a picnic and if it should take a few extra hours to get the license, because the two of them had stopped on the way (at a very public location, of course, like a park), no one would pay any attention.... After all, explained her father, how does she think he and her mother got to know each other before the wedding?<BR/><BR/>Cute, eh? Apparently it's not at all black and white (really, no pun intended), and they understand the need for intimacy just as well as the next guy.A Living Nadneydahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14365370597831368062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-50993090234897375882008-11-10T17:01:00.000-05:002008-11-10T17:01:00.000-05:00First, even chasidish boys and girls meet and HEAR...First, even chasidish boys and girls meet and HEAR a lot about the other. They are shay--but they share that too.<BR/><BR/>I was told that it has to be stressed to Kallahs that many times the chossan is whiped out from the wedding (or the girl is), and there is no problem with postponing.<BR/><BR/>Part of any decent chasan classes talks to them about being sensitive.<BR/><BR/>True, it is new, but hopefully it is new to both of them! I should think the chassan would be petrified at having to be sure to put on a good act!rickismomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07817042750959998664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-30256933073943092782008-11-09T06:21:00.000-05:002008-11-09T06:21:00.000-05:00Wooh. Just came across this post. Ok- trying to no...Wooh. Just came across this post. <BR/>Ok- trying to not be too graphic, but this is going to be a long comment. I dislike all these rumors about charedim and wedding nights. <BR/>A. Not all charedim meet only at their 'dining room table'- that would be chassidim. And as I am not chassidish, I can't comment.<BR/>B. These 'stories' that 'everyone' talks about- some of them could be true, and some couldn't. If you go to a responsible kallah teacher, and you are a mature adult person ready to get married- you are NEVER forced. And, it is SUPPOSED to be enjoyable for the woman- it's a halacha. <BR/>C. You may have never touched before your wedding night- but no one says that you are FORCED into it. Chas V'Chalila. In fact, most kallah teachers will tell you that you probably will be too exhausted to do anything major that night. <BR/>D. If you do have questions about how charedim get married with being shomer before their wedding- ask a rabbi or kallah teacher- don't read up on these rumors- most ARE RUMORS!nmf #7https://www.blogger.com/profile/02930286227301917330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-91025227768642590992008-11-05T16:38:00.000-05:002008-11-05T16:38:00.000-05:00I've been thinking about this, and it reminded me ...I've been thinking about this, and it reminded me of something. I always wondered whether just doing it is enjoyable, or whether it's because it's with a specific person. Cause for these charedi people that don't really know each other, perhaps their able to do it because doing it alone can be something they want to do. I mean I'm always hearing about people wanting to do it. So perhaps that alone is enough?Jewish Side of Babysitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15792110478994916775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-73813444602128429672008-11-05T08:20:00.000-05:002008-11-05T08:20:00.000-05:00Material Maidel: it's preferable that they have it...Material Maidel: it's preferable that they have it that night, but they don't have to. After all, sometimes the girl could be a Nidah at that time, and then they will wait.Jewish Side of Babysitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15792110478994916775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-57619146417412083792008-11-05T01:10:00.000-05:002008-11-05T01:10:00.000-05:00what happens if the couple decides to take things ...what happens if the couple decides to take things slow? can they do that? or do they have to have sex that night?Maidelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342989598403517433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-73179572840553652512008-11-04T16:54:00.000-05:002008-11-04T16:54:00.000-05:00Thats the point. There shouldn't be this situation...Thats the point. There shouldn't be this situation where you're still basically strangers on your wedding night.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-34007556387082156752008-11-03T19:58:00.000-05:002008-11-03T19:58:00.000-05:00wow, that's crazy.But I thought there would be som...wow, that's crazy.<BR/><BR/>But I thought there would be some natural thing to it. That even if it may seem crazy, there should be some pull or attraction that will make it seem easier to do.Jewish Side of Babysitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15792110478994916775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-86395304670734361602008-11-03T18:22:00.000-05:002008-11-03T18:22:00.000-05:00I read a crazy story where the girl basically star...I read a crazy story where the girl basically started crying when she realised it was about to happen, and he ended up calling her kallah teacher to come over and convince her to go ahead with it.<BR/><BR/>That shouldnt happen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-59280093048977192722008-11-02T23:16:00.000-05:002008-11-02T23:16:00.000-05:00I actually know some girls that were really scared...I actually know some girls that were really scared of their wedding night. Even heard stories about some that refused to do it on their wedding night and then later got divorced.<BR/><BR/>But then again I think they have a maturity, since they aren't taught all about it in a young age, their taught when they can handle the information, so they recognize it as something 2 people do when they get married, and it doesn't seem that hard to them. It just becomes like doing any other thing, like cooking or cleaning.Jewish Side of Babysitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15792110478994916775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-10052644580261126052008-11-02T01:49:00.000-04:002008-11-02T01:49:00.000-04:00I think I may have top write a post about this. It...I think I may have top write a post about this. It is pretty insane. I guess its good I had the college experience.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7594551858000480911.post-88691780982253770972008-11-02T01:32:00.000-04:002008-11-02T01:32:00.000-04:00I grew up and live in the BP/Flatbush area.Even th...I grew up and live in the BP/Flatbush area.<BR/>Even though instances of child molestation and rape are high in our community due to the fact that it's covered up, not discussed and people know they can get away with it.<BR/>But to the original question , no girls don't get raped.<BR/>They are taught right before the wedding the hard core stuff, although they are somewhat naive on their wedding night. <BR/>And by hard core Chassidim it doesn't make much of a difference either way since they are taught their main task is to be a baby boomer, and have as many kids as possible before their child bearing years are over.<BR/>They tell their wives it's not something to be discussed or enjoyed, and tell them their main chore is to have as many babies possible.<BR/>Mostly it's without consideration to the women opinion or health, And without consideration financially.NotaGeek!https://www.blogger.com/profile/16607161526210741574noreply@blogger.com